


Let's Shitpost!

by Sea_Odder



Series: Let's Shitpost and Things [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Group chat, Multi, Texting, alexander has a crush on burr, and it's painful, get ready for unexpected feels, im always a slut for shitposting chats, it will evolve, more characters will be added, oOPS there's a plot now, the turtle is necessary, this is it for now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 20,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6872566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sea_Odder/pseuds/Sea_Odder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another useless group chat fic, now including Franklin the turtle and shitposting. You're welcome but also I'm sorry.</p><p>Hami.lion: Hey john</p><p>J.laur: yes?</p><p>Hami.lion: whats your favorite animal?</p><p>J.laur: ...a turtle? U know this</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Franklin is born

**Author's Note:**

> I'd name whose username is who but honestly I think it's pretty obvious.

Hami.lion: Hey john

J.laur: yes?

Hami.lion: whats your favorite animal?

J.laur: ...a turtle? U know this

Hami.lion: oh....you know what turtle is my favorite?

J.laur: dont

J.laur: aLEX I SWEAR

Hami.lion sent a photo:   
FranklintheTurtle.jpg

J.laur: ALEXANDER HAMILTON

Hami.lion: I COULDNT HELP IT IVE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS ALL DAY

Hami.lion: I HAD TO MAKE MY DREAM A REALITY

J.laur: nO

J.laur: YOU DIDNT

Hami.lion: BUT FRANKLIN THE TURTLE IS A NECESSITY IN LIFE

J.laur: I WANT NO CORRELATION WITH THIS LITTLE FUCKER

Hami.lion: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME JOHN

Hami.lion sent a photo: FranklinandFriends.jpg

J.laur: sTOP


	2. He ascends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group chat is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I think the usernames are obvious but comment if you think it's not. I'll add them

Hami.lion has added ElizaBest, Angel.from.the.schuy, Laf.baguette, hunkcules, J.laur, and 1Margarita.pls to the conversation, "Hamilsquad".

J.laur: ALEX NO I SWEAR TO GOD

Hami.lion: hello everyone ive gathered you here today to praise our lord and savior...

Angel.from.the.schuy: oh no...

Hunkcules: if u say shrek I stg Alex

ElizaBest: im afraid 

J.laur: DO YOU WANT ME TO WRING UR FUCKIGN NECK

Hami.lion: Franklin the turtle

Hami.lion sent a photo: FranklintheTurtle.jpg

1Margarita.pls: ooh?

Laf.baguette: mon dieu 

Angel.from.the.schuy: i jUST CHOKED

Hunkcules: I dont know whether to be relieved or horrified

ElizaBest: @herc both

J.laur: A L E X

Hami.lion: and his most loyal worshipper and disciple, Jonathan Laurens

J.laur: THATS NOT EVEN MY NAME

1Margarita.pls: Oh my god...

ElizaBest: ahh yes, Franklin, our one true God

J.laur: E LIZA

Hami.lion: yes Eliza, accept Franklin into your soul

Laf.baguette: IM LAUGIN G

Hunkcules: I just changed johns contact pic to our lord

J.laur: SKIDOQJFJWOSOE R U SERIOUS?!

Hunkcules sent a photo: screenshot15978.jpg

1Margarita: IM SCREAMING

Angel.from.the.schuy: SAME

J.laur: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS TORMENT

Laf.baguette sent a photo: LordFranklin.jpg

Laf.baguette: let us pray

Hami.lion: yes laf, join us

1Margarita.pls: i join you, brothers and sister, for Franklin

J.laur: IM GONNA CRY

Angel.from.the.schuy: am i gonna do this?

Angel.from.the.schuy: yes

Hami.lion: join us Angelica

J.laur: DONT

Angel.from.the.schuy: our father, Franklin, who art in heaven...

J.laur: NO

Laf.baguette: John just accept it

Hunkcules: let Franklin in you mind body and soul

J.laur: I WILL NOT

Hami.lion: don't worry my brothers, he will join us soon enough

ElizaBest: JOIN US

Angel.from.the.schuy: JOHN US

Hunkcules: DID U JUST

Laf.baguette: JOHN US

ElizaBest: JOHN US

Hunkcules: JOHN US

Hami.lion: JOHN US

J.laur: IM SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER

Hami.lion: PEGGY PUN WITH US

ElizaBest: PEGGY JOHN US

1Margarita.pls sent a photo: Jhonprays2ourlordndsavor.jpg

1Margarita.pls: sorry I was busy

1Margarits: JOHN US

Hunkcules: OM G

Laf.baguette: HOW DID U MAKE THAT THAT IS AMAZING 

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM WHEEZING

ElizaBest: JOHN THUS IS UR NEW CONTACT PIC

J.laur: IM CRYIN DONT U DARE

ElizaBest: did it

Hami.lion: did it

Angel.from.the.schuy: did it

Laf.baguette: did it

Hunkcules: did it

1Margarita.pls: it's already been done

J.laur: IM FUCKING DONE

J.laur has left the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I do this to myself and the world


	3. A mistake is made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eat shit Hamilton

Hami.lion has sent a photo: LordFranklinWelcomesYou.jpg

Hami.lion: let us pray

A.Burr: what the hell?

Hami.lion: oOPS

Hami.lion: MY BAD

A.Burr: is that Franklin the turtle?

Hami.lion: ....yes

Hami.lion: I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND IT TO YOU THOUGH THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

A.Burr: why did you make this?

Hami.lion: umm you know how Laurens draws turtles all the time?

Hami.lion: well we're kinda teasing him with the cartoon

A.Burr: by pretending he's Jesus?

Hami.lion: yeaaaaah.....

A.Burr: lmao, send me screenshots

Hami.lion: really?

A.Burr: or don't, idc

Hami.lion: alright!

A.Burr: cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is crushing, burr is just burr and I'm still here shitposting 
> 
> Why isn't there more hamburr tho?
> 
> Real short but hey I posted 4 chapters today alone. Who the fuck cares.


	4. Confess your sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't eat shit but John still did

Hami.lion: GUY S

Hunkcules: WHA T

Hami.lion: YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Hami.lion: wait

Hami.lion has added J.laur to the conversation.

J.laur: nooooo

Hami.lion: YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

ElizaBest: tell us before my brain explodes

Laf.baguette: yeah

Hami.lion: I ACCIDENTALLY TEXTED AARON BURR

Angel.from.the.schuy: oh god

1Margarita.pls: oh Franklin*

ElizaBest: WHAT DID YOU SEND?

Hami.lion: I ACCIDENTALLY SENT A FRANKLIN SHITPOST

Hunkcules: O GOD ALEX R U OK

Laf.baguette: ooooooo nooooo

J.laur: fuuuuck

Angel.from.the.schuy: major cringe attack

ElizaBest: oh my god Alex, are you still alive

Hami.lion: SURPRISINGLY YES

Hami.lion: ONCE I EXPLAINED IT TO HIM HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY AND ASKED FOR SCREENSHOTS

J.laur: glad to know he enjoys my pain

ElizaBest: AWWW ALEXANDER

Angel.from.the.schuy: don't worry I got like seventeen pictures for u to send him

Hunkcules: GET IT BOY GET IT

Hami.lion: I SQUEALED LIKE 8 TIMES

Laf.baguette: good for u mon ami

1Margarita.pls: u go ham

Hami.lion: oh yea and also

Hami.lion has sent a photo: LordFranklinWelcomesYou.jpg

J.laur has left the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza and Alex use to date until Alex was having sexuality insecurity so to prove to himself that he was straight he cheated on Eliza, also realizing and coming out as gay. That's all for this time on useless exposition.


	5. #lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didnt plan on finishing this today but this is what happens when you put off homework kids :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally grows a pair and speaking of which John becomes a dick
> 
> I wrote a chapter of a decent length but the spacing got fucked up F U C K

Hami.lion: UUUUUUUGH  
Hami.lion: *ughs for days*  
1Margarita.pls: same  
J.laur: oh no  
Laf.baguette: what is it this time?  
Hami.lion: sometimes I wanna boDY SLAM THOMAS JEFFERSON INTO A VOLACANO  
ElizaBest: oh wow  
Hunkcules: what else is new?  
Laf.baguette: and I repeat  
What is it this time?  
Hami.lion: today at work, I was just doing my job, minding my own business  
Hami.lion: when this fucker practically throws the door open, and start cursing me out for something I had nothing to do with  
Angel.from.the.schuy: what did he say you did?  
J.laur: I already know what hes talking about  
Hunkcules: same :|  
Hami.lion: wHAT  
Laf.baguette: he wrote an entire speech on why Jefferson is "an uncultured swine who has the face of chuck E. cheese on crack with the same amount of value as a broken mcdonalds toy"  
Hunkcules: and he put it on social media  
Hunkcules: aLL FORMS OF IT  
J.laur: to be fair he didn’t say his name in it but everyone knew who he was talking about  
Laf.baguette: it was 14 pages long  
1Margarita: jesus christ  
Angel.from.the.schuy: im not surprised not one bit  
ElizaBest: Alex how is that "nothing to do with it"???  
Hami.lion: I had nothing to do with the fact that he is an uncultured swine with the face of Chuck E. Cheese on crack and the value of a broken mcdonalds toy, he made that choice all on his own  
Hami.lion: I just exposed it to the public  
Angel.from.the.schuy: well maybe some things shouldn’t be exposed  
1Margarita.pls: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Angel.from.the.schuy: pEGGY NO  
Hunkcules: PEGGY YES  
Hami.lion: and NO it was not obvious, I couldve been talking about anyone!  
J.laur: Jefferson is the only person you hate enough to come up with these kind of insults  
Hami.lion: nOT TRUE  
Laf.baguette: mon ami, just yesterday you referred to him as "an old stale deodorant stick"  
Angel.from.the.schuy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME  
1Margarita.pls: OMG IM USING THAT FROM NOW ON  
ElizaBest: I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY LEMONADE  
Hunkcules: wait what u have lemonade?  
J.laur: wth I want lemonade  
Hami.lion: #lemonade ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Laf.baguette: CAN WE HAVE A LEMONADE PARTY  
Hunkcules: OMF YES  
Hami.lion: PLeASE ELIZA FOR BEYONCE  
ElizaBest: I mean yeah but I only have like so much lemonade you guys  
1Margarita.pls: I can go to the store and buy some if I get invited  
J.laur: WTF OF COURSE YOURE INVITED PEGGY  
Hami.lion: WHY WOULDN’T WE INVITE YOU  
1Margarita.pls: :)  
Angel.from.the.schuy: Im in london….  
ElizaBest: Aww Angie we'll skype you in  
Angel.from.the.schuy: :)  
J.laur: :)  
Hunkcules: :)  
Laf.baguette: :)  
Hami.lion: :)  
1Margarita.pls: But we cant give you lemonade tho  
Angel.from.the.schuy: peggy im aware of how skype works  
1Margarita.pls: :(  
Hami.lion: WE ARE IN THE CAR AND ON OUR WAY  
Hami.lion: PEGGY HURRY YOUR ASS UP  
ElizaBest: I'll put on the beyonce  
Hami.lion: GIRL U BETTER  
Angel.from.the.schuy: Wait Ham you know what you should do?  
Angel.from.the.schuy: You should try to invite Burr :D  
ElizaBest: OMG yes Alex you totally should!  
Hami.lion: well knowing him he probably wont go for it…  
ElizaBest: maybe but whats the harm in asking?  
Angel.from.the.schuy: and who knows maybe he'll say yes  
Hami.lion: I don’t knoooooow  
ElizaBest: worst case scenario he says no and that’s it  
Hami.lion: what should I say?  
Hunkcules: thing you thought youd never here come out of hamiltons mouth  
laf.Baguette: lol accurate  
ElizaBest: guys come on he's nervous  
Hunkcules: idk why tho Alex all you gotta do is ask  
Laf.baguette: true, mon ami you have nothing to worry about : )

Hami.lion: aww thanks you guys  
Hami.lion: :| nvm  
Angel.from.the.schuy: whut  
Laf.baguette: I turned to john to help reassure alexander and he just deadpanned and said "I hope  
he says no and starts dating Jefferson"  
Laf.baguette: Hercules is laughing so hard he cant text and Alex curled up in a ball  
ElizaBest: OMG why would he do that  
Angel.from.the.schuy: this is probably Franklin payback  
1Margarita.pls: guys do you want regular lemonade or pink?  
Laf.baguette: PINK  
Hunkcules: PINK  
Hami.lion: PINK  
Angel.from.the.schuy: of course herc bounces back to the chat for pink lemonade  
Hunkcules: are you surprised???  
Laf.baguette: John also says pink  
Hami.lion: get john regular lemonade ONLY REGULAR  
ElizaBest: wait Alex are you still gonna ask Aaron?  
Hami.lion: yeah I guess brb  
Angel.from.the.schuy: GL :)  
1Margarita.pls: You go Hammie-man!  
ElizaBest: Good luck Alex!

Hami.lion: Hey  
A.burr: Hi  
Hami.lion: do you like Beyonce?  
A.burr: um I guess  
Hami.lion: wait no better question, do you like lemonade?  
Hami.lion: Not the beyonce lemonade but actually yes the beyonce lemonade but also like regular lemonade but not regular lemonade like pink lemonade  
A.burr: umm  
A.burr: whats this about?  
Hami.lion: well we're kinda having a lemonade party, but its not really a party well technically it is but its just me, Laurens, Lafayette, Mulligan, and the Schuyler sisters.  
A.burr: Where is it?  
Hami.lion: @ Eliza Schuyler's place  
Hami.lion: wait are you coming?  
A.burr: yeah why not? I don’t really have any better plans so what time?  
Hami.lion: rn, I'll tell them youre coming :)  
A.burr: cool, on my way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can wait to include "Chuck E. Cheese on crack" in this story, he will arrive SOON


	6. The Thirst is Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Hamburr intensifies*

ElizaBest sent a photo: THESHIPHASSAILED.jpg

ElizaBest: I WAS GOING TO BE UPSET THAT EVERYONE PASSED OUT IN MY HOME LAST NIGHT BUT THIS MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT

Angel.from.the.schuy: OMG BURR LOOKS SO PEACEFUL WHEN HE SLEEPS

ElizaBest: IKR

1Margarita.pls: I'm having my lemonade hangover why this

Angel.from.the.schuy: PEGGY ITS HAPPENING 

1Margarita.pls: hOLY SHIT HAM IS LIKE BURRS TEDDY BEAR

ElizaBest: ALEX I S A TEDDY BEAR

Laf.baguette: BOY AM I GLAD I WOKE UP TO THIS

Hunkcules: I JUST FOUND MY NEW WALLPAPER 

J.laur: QUICK EVERYONE TAKE A HUNDRED PICTURES

ElizaBest: ALREADY DONE

Angel.from.the.schuy: S END THEM TO MEEEEE

Laf.baguette: PEGGY WHAT ARE YOU DOING

1Margarita.pls: IM JUST MAKING THEM CUTER

Hunkcules: PEGGY DONT PLEASE YOULL DISTURB THE EVIL FROM ITS SLUMBER

J.laur: YOULL WAKE THEM UP N O

Angel.from.the.schuy: GUYS

Angel.from.the.schuy: GUYS??!?!?!

Angel.from.the.schuy: WHAT HAPPENED IM BOUT TO START SCREAMING YOU GUYS

1Margarita.pls sent a photo: weFroze4FiveMinutesB4TakingThis.jpg

ElizaBest: SORRY WE WERE STAYING SILENT IN CASE THEY WERE WAKING UP

Hunkcules: BUT NOW THEYRE EVEN CUTER

Angel.from.the.schuy: OMG HES NUZZLING ALEXS NECK?!?!!?

Laf.baguette: WHEN PEGGY MOVED THEM BURR PULLED HIM CLOSER ON HIS OWN

J.laur: Hercules screamed silently

Angel.from.the.schuy: I CAN PICTURE THAT AND I CANT STOP LAUGHING

Hunkcules: DONT TEASE ME ANGIE I AM A FIGHTING MACHINE

J.laur: a fighting machine who begged me to take him to build a bear last week

Hunkcules: THEY HAD HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DOLLS

Laf.baguette: That justifies it completely 

1Margarita.pls: that text is just s o a k e d in sarcasm

ElizaBest: I want a dragon doll :(

Angel.from.the.schuy: you dont need it we have Hamilton

ElizaBest: true

J.laur: he is a good cuddler 

Hunkcules: yeah

Laf.baguette: facts

1Margarita.pls: ....

Angel.from.the.schuy: ....

ElizaBest: .....

J.laur: WAHT

Hunkcules: HES SMOL AND CLINGY

Laf.baguette: HOW HAVE YOU NOT CUDDLED WITH HIM

ElizaBest: ok they got me there

Hunkcules: OH SHIT THEYRE WAKING UP

Laf.baguette: ABORT ABORT ABORT

1Margarita: oH SHIT

J.laur: EVACUATE THE PREMISES

Angel.from.the.schuy: OH GOD

\-------------------------------------

Hami.lion: YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES

Angel.from.the.schuy: oh man he's awake

ElizaBest: but you guys looked so cuuute

J.laur: WE DID NOTHING YOU GUYS DID ALL ON YOUR OWN

Hunkcules: true we were asleep we woke up and you guys were already like that

1Margarita.pls: except for the neck thing

Hami.lion: WHAT

1Margarita: NOTHING

Hami.lion: WHAT DID YOU DO

1Margarita.pls: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hami.lion: PEGGY

ElizaBest: maybe this is a sign! Maybe he likes you too!

Hami.lion: yeah and I'm sure that's why he ran out in a panic after he woke up

J.laur: tbh anyone would do that if they woke up cuddling someone

J.laur: crush or no crush

Hunkcules: truth 

Laf.baguette: turtle

Laf.baguette: I MEANT TRUTH

Hami.lion sent a photo: lord&savior.jpg

J.laur: LOOK WHAT YOU DID

J.laur: FUCK THIS MAN

Angel.from.the.schuy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J.laur: NO

1Margarita.pls: praise the Franklin lord

J.laur: N O

J.laur: STOP IT

Hunkcules: praise him

Laf.baguette: praise him

Hami.lion: praise him

ElizaBest: praise him

Ange.from.the.schuy: praise him

J.laur: wHY

J.laur has left the conversation.

Hami.lion: aww

1Margarita.pls: he will join us one day

Laf.baguette: one day

Angel.from.the.schuy: ham why don't you just ask burr out

ElizaBest: yeah Alex just go for it! :)

Angel.from.the.schuy: I swear I wasn't even there and I could feel the intense awkward tension between you two

Hunkcules: seriously

Laf.baguette: I had so much second hand cringe

1Margarita.pls: I had to pretend to go to the bathroom 4 times because of your guys' awkward silences

Hami.lion: eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh

Hunkcules: alright then

ElizaBest: fine live a burrless life

Hami.lion fine I will

Angel.from.the.schuy: gotta go you guys

ElizaBest: why where do you have to be?

Angel.from.the.schuy: ...somewhere 

Angel.from.the.schuy has left the conversation.

ElizaBest: :| hmm

1Margarita.pls: awww :(

Hami.lion: I gtg too, to go bathe in my shame

Hunkcules: ew

Lay.baguette: have fun with that

Hami.lion left the conversation.

\-------------------------------

Hami.lion: um hey

A.burr: hi

A.burr: listen I'm sorry about this morning. I was asleep and I had no idea what I was doing.

Hami.lion: no no it's okay you're right we didn't know what we were doing

A.burr: I'm sorry

Hami.lion: stop apologizing, I should be the one doing that.

A.burr: okay :)

A.burr: ...is that all you wanted to talk about?

Hami.lion: well I...

Hami.lion: I wanted to know

A.burr: ?

Hami.lion: nvm

Hami.lion: you okay? It got rly weird this morning

A.burr: no I'm fine i was just afraid that you weren't ok

Hami.lion: I'm fine

A.burr: good to know

Hami.lion: yeah, um glad we got this cleared up bye.

A.burr: uhh bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the build a bear httyd dolls....it was my first fandom I couldn't help myself
> 
> Also  
> Hello darkness my old friend


	7. Friendship Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone tries to be sneaky and Burr becomes slightly traumatized.

ElizaBest: has Angelica been acting suspicious lately to you

1margarita.pls: yeah but I mean I didn't wanna say anything

ElizaBest: do you think she's hiding something from us?

1margarita.pls: probably but hey lets just let Angelica do Angelica

ElizaBest: why would she? Does she not trust us? We're her sisters!

1margarita.pls: maybe she's planning on telling us but just isn't ready yet

ElizaBest: what do you mean

1margarita.pls: Jesus Eliza I thought you were smarter than this

ElizaBest: what?

ElizaBest: Angelicas texting me...

1margarita.pls: add her

ElizaBest has added Angel.from.the.schuy to the conversation, "the Schuyler sisters"

Angel.from.the.schuy: hey pegs ;P

1margarita.pls: what's up?

Angel.from.the.schuy: I've been thinking

ElizaBest: that you're ready to tell us something important going on in your life?

1margarita.pls: oh my god....

Angel.from.the.schuy: um? Sort of?

Angel.from.the.schuy: we all know Alex likes Burr

Angel.from.the.schuy: and we're all 72% sure that Burr likes Alex

1margarita.pls: that is a very specific number

ElizaBest: go on

Angel.from.the.schuy: but since Alex is too much of a pussy to get that D, why shouldn't we help him

ElizaBest: how?

1margarita.pls: ok now I'm scared

Angel.from.the.schuy: I have burr's number (you don't wanna know) why don't we do a little

Angel.from.the.schuy: "investigating"

1margarita.pls: oooooooh >:)

ElizaBest: yeah but maybe we should get the guys in on it too

ElizaBest: I mean 3 girls questioning him all of a sudden?

Angel.from.the.schuy: true

1margarita.pls: we'll add him to "the" group chat that Alex just happens to be absent from

ElizaBest: and maybe we can get him to ask out Alex instead :D

Angel.from.the.schuy: noice

ElizaBest has changed the conversation name to "operation hamburr"

1margarita.pls: appropriate

\-------------------------------

ElizaBest has added A.burr to the conversation, "friendship island".

A.burr: what?

J.laur: hey

Hunkcules: sup

Laf.baguette: Hello

1margarita.pls: heyyo

Angel.from.the.schuy: hey

ElizaBest: Hiya! Welcome to the GC

A.burr: you called your group chat friendship island?

Hunkcules: we ran out of memes to use

A.burr: I'm surprised Alexander hasn't blown up the chat yet

A.burr: where is he?

J.laur: he's busy

Laf.baguette: with work

J.laur: lots of work

Angel.from.the.schuy: speaking of Alex tho, are you guys good after the lemonade party incident?

A.burr: yeah, we cleared it up.

1margarita.pls: oh good, you both looked a little...flustered

ElizaBest: Peggy.

A.burr: umm well it was kinda embarrassing

Hunkcules: understandable, but let's be honest here. Isn't Alex a good cuddler?

Laf.baguette: yeah he's almost like a teddy bear don't you think?

A.burr: I mean I guess? I was asleep the entire time

J.laur: well did you have any dreams?

1margarita.pls: I bet he had good dreams

A.burr: you know I just realized, I'm behind on my work too.

A.burr has left the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy: goddamit

J.laur: I think we were a little too creepy

Hunkcules: we were DEFINITELY too creepy

ElizaBest: I blame Peggy

1margarita.pls: I wasn't the one who brought up the cuddling

Hunkcules: I didn't think it would get dwelled on.

Laf.baguette: it's was still weird tho

Hunkcules: not as weird as your obsession with Orange is the new black

Laf.baguette: it's a HIGH QUALITY SHOW YOU BROUGHT UP THE QUALITY OF OUR FRIENDS CUDDLING ABILITY

Angel.from.the.sky: guys, guys, relax

Angel.from.the.schuy: you're both weirdos

J.laur: IM CACKLING

1margarita.pls: John you are just as weird if not more then them

J.laur: NOT TRUE

1margarita.pls sent a photo: lordfranklin.jpg

J.laur: OK YOU KNOW WHAT

J.laur kicked 1margarita.pls from the conversation.

ElizaBest: JOHN

J.laur: SHE ASKED FOR IT

Hunkcules: she kinda did

ElizaBest: I'm just upset that we didn't get any closer on knowing if burr likes him or not

Laf.baguette: perhaps we should just let whatever happens happen

Angel.from.the.schuy: or we could try again later in person when John/Herc/Laf takes Alex to the bathroom of wherever we could go?

ElizaBest: I VOTE FOR ANGIES PLAN

J.laur: I SECOND THAT VOTE

Hunkcules: SAME

Laf.baguette: I'll be the one to distract Alex

ElizaBest added 1margarita.pls to the conversation.

1margarita.pls: @ John R00D

J.laur: I am not sorry

ElizaBest: PEGGY READ PLAN B

1margarita.pls: I VOTE FOR ANGIE

Angel.from.the.schuy: THATS MY SISTER

1margarita.pls: AYYYYY

Angel.from.the.schuy: AYYYYYYYY

ElizaBest: AYYYYYYYYY

Laf.baguette: hey guys aren't we good friends??? AYYYYYYYY

J.laur: AYYYYYYYY

Hunkcules: AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

1margarita.pls has sent a photo: FranklinsaysYes.jpg

J.laur has kicked 1margarita.pls from the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Burr, and also poor Alex. I would be pissed if my friends pulled a friendship island behind my back.
> 
> Also do you guys want more shitposty hamburr or pure shitposting? It's really your choice now...


	8. "Plan B"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less scaring more INFO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot thickens and so does THIS DICK. I'm sorry (no I'm not)

Hami.lion has entered the conversation, "Hamilsquad".

Hami.lion: guys...

1margarita.pls: hammie-man!!!

J.laur: Ayyyy ;D

Laf.baguette: mon ami :)

Hunkcules: he has returned

Hami.lion: don't...

ElizaBest: don't what?

Hami.lion: I know about your little "mission"

Angel.from.the.schuy: what are you talking about?

Hami.lion: " Friendship Island "?

Angel.from.the.schuy: oooh that's what he's talking about...

Hami.lion: yeah Burr asked me if I knew about it and I almost exploded for several reasons in front of him

Laf.baguette: pls don't list them

Hami.lion: and why would you ask him if I was a good cuddler? That's so creepy

Hunkcules: I DIDNT THINK EVERYONE WOULD DWELL ON IT

Hami.lion: STILL

ElizaBest: you're right, we should've asked you before doing it

J.laur: yeah :/

Hami.lion: well now my changes have gone from 0 to -50

1margarita.pls: it's not that bad

Hami.lion: DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH YOU PEGGY

1margarita.pls has left the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy has added 1magarita.pls to the conversation, "Hamilsquad".

ElizaBest: Alex you should know the only reason we did this was to see if he liked you or if we could get him to ask you out

Hunkcules: but instead we accidentally traumatized him....

J.laur: sorry Ham

Laf.baguette: :/

Angel.from.the.schuy: you should also know we had a "plan b"

ElizaBest: we won't do it though

Hami.lion: wait wait wait

Hami.lion: what is "plan b"?

1margarita.pls: it's just plan a but in person and less creepy

Angel.from.the.schuy: like we'd all get together somewhere and Laf would take you to the bathroom with him and we'd ask Aaron more (less freaky) questions

Hami.lion: ....

J.laur: I still can't wrap my head around how that conversation went downhill so quickly

Laf.baguette: it was never at the top of the hill

Hunkcules: mid-slope convo

ElizaBest: Alex?

Hami.lion: I will allow plan b to take place if 1) I am involved with all of it 2) the questions are planned and reviewed for creepiness 3) someone leaves their phone on or something so me and Laf can hear the convo

Hunkcules: that's actually really good ideas

J.laur: and that's actually really bad grammar

Hunkcules kicked J.laur from the conversation.

1margarita.pls: and you guys can give us signals and stuff if anything goes wrong

1margarita.pls: also Mmm Whatcha sayyy 

Laf.baguette: I'll send you guys texts while Alex holds the call

ElizaBest: OOOO were like a proper spy team now :D

Angel.from.the.schuy: but before we start asking questions, let's get Burr on his good side first after freaking him out with the other GC

Laf.baguette: good idea

Hunkcules: the invite should be like "Sorry for scaring you we swear we're not crazy" 

Angel.from.the.schuy: with a "just kidding but seriously"

ElizaBest: where should it be

1margarita.pls: somewhere calm

Laf.baguette: Starbucks?

ElizaBest: YES

Hunkcules: YES

Hami.lion: YES (John also says yes)

Hunkcules: dont bring john

Hami.lion: don't worry I have something better

Hami.lion sent a photo: PoorBab.jpg

1margarita.pls: WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR

ElizaBest: HE LOOKS SO SAD OMG

Angel.from.the.schuy: ALEX WHAT DID YOU DO

Laf.baguette: MON DIEU

Hunkcules: >:))))))))))))

Hami.lion: I showed him my latest Franklin masterpiece

Hami.lion sent a photo: hallelujah.jpg

1margarita.pls: godbless 

Angel.from.the.schuy: at this point I can't tell if we're being cruel or if he's over exaggerating

Hunkcules sent a photo: taco-girl-WhyNotBoth.jpg

Laf.baguette: true

Hami.lion :) I feel better 

Angel.from.the.schuy: course u do u sadistic fuck

Hami.lion: aww you say the sweetest things Angie

1margarita.pls: sweaty :))))))

ElizaBest: wait so plan b is a go?

Hami.lion: yep 

Hunkcules: yep

Angel.from.the.schuy: yep

1margarita.pls: yep 

Laf.baguette: oui

1margarita.pls: you French fuck

Laf.baguette kicked 1Margarita.pls from the conversation.

Hunkcules: OH SHIT

ElizaBest: I'm excited :)

ElizaBest: not about the Peggy thing about plan b

Angel.from.the.schuy: don't worry honey we gotchu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laf doesn't take shit and also comments fuel my writing spirit so please tell me what you think what you want/desire what memes to you ANYTHING


	9. Hamburr for the soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist: everyone loves everyone and these GCs aren't toxic to the brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw the "…" means that there's a short pause in the convo whether someone taking a while to type or something just like a minute pause of silence

Hami.lion sent a photo: watupFranklin.jpg

A.burr: are you kidding me?

Hami.lion: you have no idea how much fun I have making these

A.burr: wat up boi has to be my favorite meme

Hami.lion: valuable information 

A.burr: lol what's your favorite?

Hami.lion: I'm very partial to the Jean meme

A.burr: ?

Hami.lion sent a photo: denimgloves.jpg

Hami.lion: jloves 

A.burr: I found my new favorite meme

Hami.lion: jean memes

Hami.lion: jeams

A.burr: wow

A.burr: fantastic

Hami.lion sent a photo: doge.jpg

Hami.lion: very wow

Hami.lion: such amazing

A.burr: much interest very intrigue

Hami.lion: I sNORTED

A.burr: good

Hami.lion: lol btw do you wanna idk go to Starbucks over the weekend?

A.burr: ...like a date?....

...

Hami.lion: nononono Its not just gonna be you and me, everyone else will be there too

A.burr: oh

Hami.lion: oh?

...

A.burr: oh as in oh good, cause that was about to turn awkward

Hami.lion: haha yeah

...

A.burr: umm but idk know about this weekend

Hami.lion: if it's because of "friendship island" they didn't mean to be so creepy. They were just teasing and it got really out of hand :/

Hami.lion: they're sorry btw 

A.burr: well I guess it fine but...

Hami.lion: but?

A.burr: nothing, I'll go. What time?

\-----------------------------------

"Hamilsquad"

Hami.lion: stage 1: complete

ElizaBest: WOOO I'm rly excited

1margarita.pls: don't pee your pants Eliza its only Thursday

Angel.from.the.schuy: how did it go?

Hami.lion: pretty good, we bonded over memes and then I apologized for u guys and he said sure

J.laur: I never thought of Burr as a meme guy

Laf.baguette: yeah I think he's pretty nice ;D

J.laur kicked laf.baguette from the conversation.

Hunkcules: wow guys already?

Hunkcules: LAF NO INOPFHVFUWPTXA-

ElizaBest: um?

Hami.lion: uhhh 

Hunkcules kicked j.laur from the conversation.

1margarita.pls: I CALLED IT I KNEW IT

Hunkcules has added Laf.baguette to the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy: wow

Hami.lion: lesson learned; never mess with Laf

ElizaBest: agreed

1margarita.pls: AMAZING

Laf.baguette: damn straight

Hunkcules: HE STOLE MY PHONE

Angel.from.the.schuy: we figured

Hami.lion: John looks so dead inside rn

Laf.baguette: good

Laf.baguette: NO MORE MR.ICE GUY ;D

ElizaBest: oh no

Hunkcules: why ice that pun has no correlating context

Laf.baguette: cuz I'm a cool guy B)

Hami.lion kicked Laf.baguette from the conversation.

Hami.lion: sorry Herc but there isn't a Hamilsquad without Hamilton

Hunkcules: I understand (FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY)

Hami.lion kicked Hunkcules from the conversation.

Hami.lion: the evil has been vanquished

Angel.from.the.schuy: well...that happened

ElizaBest: that went by so fast

1margarita.pls: do we add John back or is he apart of the "evil"

Hami.lion: we still need to convert him my sisters

Hami.lion has added J.laur to the conversation, "Hamilsquad".

Hami.lion: welcome

J.laur: thank you

1margarita.pls has sent a photo: Franklinism.jpg

J.laur: NVM

J.laur has left the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on SHITPOST; the shits goin D O W N


	10. Ohmagaa I want chipotle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thirst is real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a wish for tag yourself memes. A wish I was more than happy to grant.

You have entered the conversation, "Hamilsquad".

Hami.lion: guys I have a problem

ElizaBest: oh no does it have something to do with plan b?

1margarita.pls: has burr been secretly dating someone all along?

Hunkcules: oh god Alex are you okay?

Laf.baguette: DO YOU NEED HELP I CAN BRING ALL OF THE CHIPS AND COOKIES WE OWN

Hami.lion: no it's nothing like that

Angel.from.the.schuy: then what's wrong?

Hami.lion: I really REALLY want to go to chipotle but John refuses to get out of bed and I don't want to go alone

Hunkcules: :Y

Laf.baguette: :Y

ElizaBest: :Y

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM HOOTING

1margarita.pls: lol tag urself I'm John

Angel.from.the.schuy: LOL IM ALEX HONESTLY

ElizaBest: what do you mean by that, Angie?

Angel.from.the.schuy: nothing I'm just joking around

ElizaBest: Angelica...

Angel.from.the.schuy: !!! IM !!! KIDDING!!!

Angel.from.the.schuy: and u guys say I act like a mom

Hami.lion: no ur the mom when it comes to your sisters

Hami.lion: Eliza is the mom when it comes to the squad

Laf.baguette: facts

Hunkcules: I just wanna say that I don't even know what :Y means but I was so overjoyed that you guys followed me

Laf.baguette: was that why I heard you squealing?

Hunkcules: ........

Hunkcules: ...no...

Hami.lion: lol tag urself I'm Herc

ElizaBest: same

1margarita.pls: same

Angel.from.the.schuy: same

J.laur: honestly I'm Laf

J.laur: also SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP

Laf.baguette: John its past noon

J.laur: LET !!!! ME !!!! SLEEP!!!

1margarita.pls: tag urself I'm John

Angel.from.the.schuy: same

Hunkcules: STOP

J.laur: Im siding with Herc on this one

J.laur: S T O P

Hami.lion: guys plz I want a chipotle bowl so bad

J.laur: if you go bring me back a chicken quesadilla

Hami.lion: BITCH IF YOU WANT A CHICKEN QUESADILLA COME AND GET IT

J.laur: eehhh I don't feeeeeel like it

Angel.from.the.schuy: savage

1magarita.pls sent a photo: niceSpongebobReference.jpg

Laf.baguette: lmao

ElizaBest: @ Angie I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not

Hunkcules sent a photo: futuramaNotSureifMeme.jpg

1margarita.pls: Hercules I know we're both gay and you're tECHNICALLY dating someone but after that beautiful meme execution I think we're obligated to get married

Hunkcules: Peggy I agree wholeheartedly 

Laf.baguette: I'll be the minister :D

ElizaBest: Laf you'd marry your exboyfriend and my sister?

Laf.baguette: who says we have to break up

Angel.from.the.schuy: tag urself I'm Laf

Hami.lion: same

J.laur has left the conversation.

Hunkcules: oopsie daisy 

Hami.lion: S A L T

ElizaBest: wow

Angel.from.the.schuy: the saltiness is real

Hami.lion: WAIT GUYS ARE WE GOING TO CHIPOTLE OR NOT???

1margarita.pls: well now I have a real hankering for Mexican so I'm in

Hunkcules: there is not a thing in this world that will stop me from chipotle with friends 

Hami.lion: Herc :,)

Laf.baguette: I'll come

Angel.from.the.schuy: I'll just cry here overseas

ElizaBest: I'll buy you an imaginary but delicious sisterly burrito with extra guac

Angel.from.the.schuy: Eliza :,)

1margarita.pls: IM READY LOSERZ COME PICK THIS COLLEGE BITCH UP

Hami.lion: Peggy have you ever thought of joining a sorority?

1margarita.pls: not really why?

Hami.lion: I just feel like you'd fit right in :)

Angel.from.the.schuy: DO NOT TAINT MY BABY SISTERS IMAGE ALEX

Hami.lion: I DID NOTHING ITS NOT MY FAULT SHE TALKS EXACTLY LIKE REGINA GEORGE

Hunkcules: OMG SHE DOES

ElizaBest: guys I'm rly hungry now can we leave for chipotle already 

Laf.baguette: why do we all have to leave at the same time?

ElizaBest: we don't but I just don't want to be the first one there and all alone

Hami.lion: tag urself I'm Eliza

Hunkcules: END THIS

Hami.lion: DW ELIZA MY DEAR WIFE IM ON MY WAY

ElizaBest: SWEET SEE U THERE

Laf.baguette: LETS GO HERC

Hunkcules: well shit alright

1margarita.pls: WAIT ELIZA PLS PICK ME UP I DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR AN UBER AND FOOD

ElizaBest: IM COMING DEAR SISTER

1Margarita.pls: Y A Y

Angel.from.the.schuy: u know Alex I was gonna say invite Aaron but then I thought leave the excitement for tomorrow ;)

Hami.lion: FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX TOMORROW 

Angel.from.the.schuy: BUT YOU WOULDNT COMPLAIN IF HE WANTED TO

Hami.lion: ANGELICA I SWEAR I WILL GO TO LONDON JUST TO SUPLEX YOU

Laf.baguette: pfft that's a yes

Hami.lion: LAF I SWEAR TO G O D

Hami.lion: ALL I WANTED WAS CHIPOTLE I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

Angel.from.the.schuy: I bet you'd ask for Aaron's BURRito if u kno wut I mean

Hami.lion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Laf.baguette: OMG ANGIE

Angel.from.the.schuy: YOU KNOW ITS TRUE ALEX

...

Angel.from.the.schuy: Alex?

Angel.from.the.schuy: A L E X

Laf.baguette: ANGIE HES DRIVING

Angel.from.the.schuy: THATS NO EXCUSE

Laf.baguette: ANGELICA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I told you, THE THRIST IS R E A L


	11. When will my memes return to the war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse, just an apology. So here goes....
> 
>  
> 
> #sorrynotsorry  
> Ok here's the chapter you sick fucks <3

Hami.lion: gUYS I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WEAR

J.laur: JUST PUT ON ANYTHING JESUS WERE GONNA BE LAGE

J.laur: LATE*

Laf.baguette: BUT WERE GOING TO BE LAGE TOO

J.laur: F UCK

ElizaBest: ALEX WHATS HOLDING YOU UP

Hunkcules: he can't figure out how to dress himself

Hami.lion: SHIT THE FUCK UP I CANT FIND MY SHOES

J.laur: YOU HAVE EIGHTEEN PAIRS ALL OVER THE APARTMENT

Hami.lion: IM TALKING ABOUT THE BLACK ONES

J.laur: WHATS WRONG WITH THESE

Hami.lion: THEY DONT MATCH MY OUTFIT

J.laur: FUCK YOUR OUTFIT

1Margarita.pls: this is a disaster

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM LAUGING

Angel.from.the.schuy: S O HARRD

Hunkcules: it's like a teenager and her mom fighting

J.laur: FUCK YOU WE GOTTA GO

Laf.baguette: GOTTA GET THE JOB DONE

Hami.lion: GOTTA START A NEW NATION

J.laur: DONT YOU FINISH THAT JUST FIND YOUR FUCKING SHOES

Hami.lion: :(

ElizaBest: I can't deal

Angel.from.the.scuy: I CAMT FUCKING BREATHE

Hunkcules: John why are you in such a rush

J.laur: FUCK OFF

J.laur: sorry I meant to say we already texted Burr saying we were on our way and now aLEX WONT HURRY THE FUCK UP

1margarita.pls: that's real anger

ElizaBest: 100% genuine with no artificial coloring

Angel.from.the.schuy: I LOVE THIS

Hami.lion: OMG :DDDD

1margarita.pls: did you find your matching shoes?

Hami.lion: NO EVEN BETTER

Hami.lion: I FOUND MY OTHER SHOE

Laf.baguette: singular

Hami.lion: NO I LOST ONE OF THEM LIKE FOUR MONTHS AGO AND I ONLY HAD ONE SHOE I WAS SO SAD

Hami.lion: I JUST FOUND THE OTHER ONE IM SO HAPPY

Hunkcules: gud 4 u ham

Hami.lion: thx <3

Hami.lion: FUCK THE BLACK SHOES IM WEARING THESE

J.laur: thank god

Hami.lion: aw son of a bitch my outfit doesn't go with them

Hami.lion: hold on lemme change real quick

J.laur has left the conversation.

Laf.baguette: I hear him screaming

ElizaBest: oh god

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM SCREENSHOTTING ALL OF THHIS

1margarita.pls: yo send me that shit

\------------------------------------

ElizaBest: MISSION START

Hami.lion: I don't think I've ever been so excited for coffee

Laf.baguette: mon ami what are you talking about you basically live on coffee

Hami.lion: your point???

Hunkcules: I don't know whether I want a regular coffee or like the 8 paragraph name kinda coffee

Angel.from.the.schuy: wut

Hunkcules: like you know those mocha-frappe-capu-latte-soy-chia~pet kind of coffees

1margarita.pls: CHIA PET I

Laf.baguette: CH-CH-CH-CHIA

ElizaBest: I always thought those were so creepy 

Angel.from.the.schuy: ONCE I GOT SO DRUNK I ALMOST BOUGHT THE OBAMA ONE

Hami.lion: MY FAV IS THE DUCK DYNASTY ONES BECAUSE THE STUPIDITY OF IT IS OVERWHELMING

Hunkcules: SAME

Laf.baguette: fav

Hami.lion: Johns getting pouty because he wants back in the group chat but doesn't wanna ask me :3

1margarita.pls: I can imagine the exact face and for some reason reminds me of the Eloise movie

Laf.baguette: OM G ELOISE WAS MY SHIT

ElizaBest: stop torturing the poor boy

Hami.lion: fine (WE NEED TO WATCH ELOISE YOU GUYS)

Hami.lion has added J.laur to the conversation.

J.laur: Alex?

Hami.lion: yes???

J.laur: fuck you

Hami.lion: noted

Hami.lion: THERES BURR   
THE ANGEL

Hunkcules: MEME IT UP BOI

Angel.from.the.schuy: oh god pls don't

ElizaBest: IT BEGINS

\-----------------------------------------

Hami.lion: me and Laf are in the restroom

Laf.baguette: WAIT I FORGOT MY FRAP AT THE TABLE

Hami.lion: YOULL SURVIVE

Laf.baguette: I DONT DESERVE SUCH TORMENT

Hami.lion: ITS JUST COFFEE

Laf.baguette: LOOK WHO THIS IS COMING FROM I WANT MY FUCKING COFFEE

1margarita.pls: Laf check your private messages...

Hunkcules: um???????

Hami.lion: ???

Angel.from.the.schuy: I don't know whether to be afraid or excited

1margarita.pls: yes

J.laur: that is the most Peggy answer

Lafrappé: ikr 

Hami.lion: LA F

J.laur: WTF

Angel.from.the.schuy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Hunkcules: MARIE-JOSEPH PAUL YVES ROCH GILBERT DU MOTIER DE LAFAYETTE

Lafrappé: yes daddy?

Hunkcules left the conversation.

Hami.lion: W T F

Angel.from.the.schuy: THAT WENT FROM ZERO TO 100 REAL QUICK

J.laur: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?

ElizaBest: GUYS THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE FOR KINKY SHIT

Lafrappé: oopsie

1margarita.pls: he's not even here yet I can see his shit eating grin

Lafrappé: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hami.lion: sTOP THIS

\------------------------------------

J.laur: o god

J.laur: ABORT ABORT CODE MAGENTA WE GOT A MAJOR PROBLEM HOUSTON

ElizaBest: OH NO

Angel.from.the.schuy: ew

1margarita.pls: do you even know who were talking about?

Angel.from.the.schuy: duh Jefferson

Hunkcules: it's the magenta isn't it

Angel.from.the.schuy: yeah who else could that be

Hunkcules: true

Hami.lion: I'm sorry but wHAT THE FUCK IS HERE???

Lafrappé: mon dieu

1margarita.pls: OMF DID YOU HEAR WHAT BURR SAID

Hami.lion: WAHT

ElizaBest: "oh holy Jesus, here comes the dumpster"

1margarita.pls: THATS NOT EVEN THAT FUNNY IM JUST CAUGHT SO OFF GAURD B U R R

1margarita.pls: IM LAUGHING SO HARD

Angel.from.the.schuy: Margarita Schuyler everybody

1margarita.pls: fite me Angelica

Hami.lion: GUYS I TOLD YOU HEs THE ONE

ElizaBest: I think he's mostly joking, aren't they sort of friends?

Hami.lion: THE ONE

Lafrappé: that's it I'm coming back out there no way I'm letting that slime touch my coffee

Hami.lion: IF YOURE GOING IM GOING TOO NO WAY IM LETTING THIS DUSTY ROLLED UP CARPET NEAR MY TERRITORY

Hunkcules: he's like a dog

J.laur: what if he just started barking at Tjeff

ElizaBest: the sad thing is that I can easily imagine that

Angel.from.the.schuy: SAME AND ITS FUCKING HILARIOUS

1margarita.pls: OMG BURR IS MY NEW FAV

1margarita.pls: WE TOLD HIM THE CURRENT GC TOPIC AND HE JUST SAID 

1margarita.pls: "what if he just started peeing on the trees in the area"

Hami.lion: W T F ???!!!

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM CRYIN G

Lafrappé: tag urself im the trees Alex pees on

Hami.lion: I DONT PEE ON ANYTHING THAT ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE PEED ON

Hunkcules: I think Burr is my new fav too

Lafrappé: ):

Hunkcules: but no one can top my absolute fav ;)

Lafrappé: nice save

J.laur: s a v a g e

Lafrappé: also no one can top me because only daddy can ;P

Hunkcules has left the conversation.

Hami.lion: WAHT!!!!!THE!!!!FUCK!!!!

ElizaBest: HES SO FLUSTERED NOW OMG

Lafrappé: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J.laur: end this

Hami.lion: we're back anD OH GOD THE TRASH CAN HAS SPOTTED US

Angel.from.the.schuy: im guessing trash can is equivalent to Jefferson

1margarita.pls: would you expect anything else?

Hami.lion: LESSER TRASH IS WITH HIM

Angel.from.the.schuy: ????

ElizaBest: he means Madison

Angel.from.the.schuy: of course

1margarita.pls: and again I say; would you expect anything else?

J.laur: I'm excited and terrified at the same time

Lafrappé: this can either go REALLY bad or just mildly bad but still bad

1margarita.pls: good to have those diverse options

J.laur: pEGGY!!! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT!!!

1margarita.pls: !!!!!

J.laur: !!!!!

Angel.from.the.scuy: why do I associate myself with you people

Hami.lion: because you love us and we have a lot of blackmail that we can use against you if you decide to ditch us

Angel.from.the.schuy: noted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOO CLIFFHANGER  
> THE DUMPSTER WILL SOON ENTER


	12. Trash, trash, and more trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trash.

A.burr: I am so sorry

Hami.lion: for what?

A.burr: Jefferson 

Hami.lion: it's not your fault he interrupted us today

A.burr: no not that I just-

Hami.lion: what?

A.burr: can you just add me to the group chat?

\-----------------------------------

Hami.lion has added A.burr to the conversation, "Hamilsquad"

A.burr: forgive me Franklin for I have sinned

1margarita.pls: A+ start

J.laur: YOU KNOW ITS BAD IF EVEN BURR IS DOING IT

Angel.from.the.schuy: this should be good

Hami.lion: apparently Burr has an announcement???

A.burr: Alex don't call me that

A.burr: call me Aaron

Hami.lion: oh alright...

J.laur: HIS FACE IS SO RED RN

Hami.lion: I WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP JOHNATHON

Hunkcules: oooo you just got Jonathoned

J.laur: lmao not even my name

J.laur: Alex is stomping downstaihawipdj

ElizaBest: Ummm?

J.laur: YES HELLO IT IS I JOHN LAURENS

J.laur: I CRIED WHEN WATCHING LION KING 2 AND MY FAVORITE SONG IS BY NICKELBACK

A.burr: oh boy

Laf.baguette: John I had faith in you

Hunkcules: oH MY GOD

1margarita.pls: THIS IS FUCKING GOLD

Hami.lion: exposed

J.laur: THESE ARE LIES

Hami.lion: don't even lie I heard you singing lion king II just yesterday

J.laur: ITS NOT THAT BAD

Angel.from.the.schuy: G ET

ElizaBest: I just gasped irl

Hunkcules: praying to Franklin for this mess

Angel.from.the.schuy: OU T

A.burr: what's wrong with lion king 2? Is it like really that bad?

Hami.lion: it is a sin amongst the masterpiece of The Lion King

Hunkcules: it makes me cringe every time John puts it on

J.laur: ITS!!!!NOT!!!!THAT!!!BAD!!!!

Laf.baguette: don't even try to defend yourself

ElizaBest: (he is not, one of us)

Angel.from.the.schuy: eLIZA 

A.burr: WE'RE OFF TOPIC HERE

Hunkcules: you know it's serious if Burr is using all caps

J.laur: lmao

Hami.lion: you mentioned something about Jefferson

Laf.baguette: fUCKBOI SLIME

Angel.from.the.schuy: STUD-WANNABE TRASH

1Margarita.pls: VAPING GARBAGE

Hunkcules: PURE HUMAN TRASH

J.laur: "iM NOT RACIST BUT" TRASH

ElizaBest: "the living dumpster" -Aaron Burr 2k16

A.burr: ....yes

Hami.lion: have I ever told you guys how much I love you all

1margarita.pls: lol but what about him?

A.burr: well you know how I talked to him separately to get him and Madison to leave?

A.burr: I had to make some "sacrifices" to free us

J.laur: first of all I love when Burr talks in memey-dialect

J.laur: second of all

J.laur: -_- wut kind of "sacrifices" 

Laf.baguette: same

A.burr: I'm sorry I just...

A.burr: I'm obliged to do this...

A.burr has added Swivel.master to the conversation.

Hunkcules: NO

Swivel.master: eyy burr ive been waitin 4eva

1margarita.pls: IVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR TRASH FACE

Angel.from.the.schuy: that's my baby sister!!!

Swivel.master: hey Angie ;)))

Angel.from.the.schuy: no

Swivel.master: ouch what's with the animosity???

Hami.lion: ouch what's with the trash you're composed of???

ElizaBest: OOOOOO SHADE

Laf.baguette: savage

Swivel.master: look who's talking? You're literally a midget of grossness

Hami.lion: sweaty :))) you're just a green giant but instead of nutrition you're just douchebaggery

Hunkcules: Ho Ho Ho *finger guns*

J.laur: lol more like Ho Ho OOOOOOOOOOOOHH

Swivel.master has added Sick.in.both.ways to the conversation.

Swivel.master: jemmy!!! There being r0Od and callin me trash!!!

Sick.in.both.ways: well they're not wrong

Swivel.master: JAMES!!!!

1margarita.pls: lol even your boyfriend agrees with us

Sick.in.both.ways: !!!!!!

Sick.in.both.ways: V!!!V!!!!STRAIGHT!!!!!

J.laur: I don't believe that for a second

Laf.baguette: John let the man speak for himself he's a responsible human being even if he spends his time with literal garbage

Sick.in.both.ways: you know I'm probably supposed to be offended by that but I'm still slow clapping that diss 

Swivel.master: JEMMY

Hami.lion: lmfao James is on our side

ElizaBest: (he's one of us...we are one)

Angel.from.the.schuy: EW ELIZA DONT TAINT YOURSELF WITH THAT TERRIBLE MOVIE

Swivel.master: wait wat movie

1margarita.pls: one that's almost as trashy as you

Swivel.master: I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS

A.burr: you did everything to deserve this

Swivel.master: F I N E

Sick.in.both.ways: I'm actually laughing my ass off

Trash.master: I guess as long as I'm the master of something...

J.laur: I ALSMOT SPIT OUT MY DRINK

Trash.master: don't you know you're supposed to swallow ;)

Sick.in.both.ways: bOI

Hami.lion kicked Trash.master from the conversation.

Hami.lion: well that's all I can take of the ass dandruff today

Hunkcules: ASS dANDRUFF

Laf.baguette: SAME

Sick.in.both.ways: should I go too???

Hami.lion: I mean, if you wanna

Sick.in.both.ways: it's probably for the best...

Sick.in.both.ways has left the conversation.

A.burr: wow he sounded so sad when he left

ElizaBest: burr...

A.burr: yes?

1margarita.pls: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INVITE HIM????

ElizaBest: ...thank you, Peggy...

Angel.from.the.schuy: THANK YOU PEGGY

A.burr: I had to

Hami.lion: why

A.burr: he has information he can use against me

J.laur: so he has blackmail of you?

A.burr: yes

Laf.baguette: bâtard chanceux

Hami.lion: LAFAYETTE

A.burr: I just gonna pretend that was a phrase of sympathy

ElizaBest: you should

Hunkcules: honestly I think it was worth it because of Madison's shade

J.laur: true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell if this chapter was of a decent length but otherwise I feel like I did good!
> 
> bâtard chanceux = lucky bastard
> 
> Also COMMENT LIKE SEVEN TIMES BECAUSE I WAMT ALL THE FEEDBACK POSSIBLE LITERALLY IT COULD THE SINGULAR WORD "TRASH" AND I COULDNT CARE LESS JUST C O M M E N t
> 
> (Also I have a real burning hatred for Lion King II don't judge me)


	13. UnBURRable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron joins the memeage

Trash.master: WHY DIDNT U STAND UP 4 MEEEEEEEE

Sick.in.both.ways: because that would be lying

Trash.master: why am I friends with u?

Sick.in.both.ways: I ask myself that everyday

Trash.master: :(

Sick.in.both.ways: do you want me to come over and hug you?

Trash.master: .....yes

Sick.in.both.ways: omw 

\----------------------------------

A.burr: So All Very Evil Snakes Invent Airbags

Hunkcules: What The Fuck

Laf.baguette: ?????

J.laur: I JUS T GOT IT

ElizaBest: tell me tell me tell me tell me

Angel.from.the.schuy sent a picture: KeishaJohnsonMeme.png

1Margarita.pls: L AUGHINV

Hami.lion: I'm still staring at this I don't get it

J.laur: TAKE THE FIRST LETTERS

Hami.lion: B U R R

ElizaBest: OMFG

Angel.from.the.schuy: Free her

1margarita.pls: #SAVESIA

Laf.baguette: still very confused????

A.burr: Bees Even Yodel On November Crab Evenings

A.burr: Krill Is Damn Nice And Pretty Perfect Every Day

A.burr: Sorry, Indian Americans

Laf.baguette: this is too much work for my brain

Hunkcules: impressive 

Hami.lion: tag urself I'm Sorry, Indian Americans

ElizaBest: I'm sorry but how is that you???

Hami.lion: don't question it...

Hunkcules: JUST DO IT

J.laur: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

A.burr: umm

Angel.from.the.schuy: John is against Shia LaBeouf 

J.laur: NO IM JUST SICK OF THAT MEME

J.laur: THE MEME IS DEAD LET IT REST

Hami.lion: memes don't die John, Shia LaBeouf will never die

A.burr: wAIT HE ISNT DEAD SHIA LABEOUF 

1margarita.pls: I JUST CHOKED ON MY SALIVA

Hunkcules: GROSS

ElizaBest: ACTUAL CANNIBAL SHIA LABEOUF

Hami.lion: I'm on the verge on tears

J.laur: I am too but probably for a different reason

Hami.lion: hey john

J.laur: ?

Hami.lion sent a photo: BelieveInFranklin.png

A.burr: oh Jesus

A.burr: Franklin* sorry

Angel.from.the.schuy: Burr is just having the time of his life

J.laur: UNBELIEVABLE

Hunkcules: I can practically see him beaming at his phone

A.burr: More like unBURRable

J.laur has left the conversation.

Hunkcules has left the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy has left the conversation.

Hami.lion: only the true meme lords have stayed

1margarita.pls: the meme lords and Eliza

ElizaBest: HEY

Hami.lion: oooooooo

ElizaBest: WATCH IT PUNK IM TEAM INSTINCT

A.burr: YOOO SAME

Hami.lion: never mess with Elizabeth Schuyler

ElizaBest: truth

1margarita.pls: TEAM MYSTIC FOR LIFE

Hami.lion: ew

A.burr: ew

ElizaBest: ew

Hami.lion: I may not be yellow but TEAM VALOR AND TEAM INSTINCT CAN AGREE THAT MYSTIC SUCKS ASSSSSS

A.burr: you can't see me but I'm flailing in agreement

ElizaBest: lol same

1margarita.pls: me

Hami.lion: IM TRYING TO IMAGINE THAT BUT ITS SO WIERD

A.burr: It's just me answering you with my body

ElizaBest: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1magarita.pls: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ElizaBest has added Hunkcules, J.laur, Angel.from.the.schuy to the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hunkcules: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J.laur: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A.burr: oh my lord

Angel.from.the.schuy has added Sick.in.both.ways to the conversation.

Sick.in.both.ways: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A.burr: OH MY LORD

Sick.in.both.ways has added Trash.master to the conversation.

Trash.master: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hami.lion has left the conversation.

A.burr has left the conversation.

J.laur: so perfect

Trash.master: !!!!

Trash.master: me and jemmy are watching Netflix w/ snacks anyone want in?

ElizaBest: strangely generous for you Jefferson

Sick.in.both.ways: we have Nutella

ElizaBest: I'm in

1margarita.pls: you know what, me too

Trash.master: !!!!!

Angel.from.the.schuy: I'm in London

Trash.master: will you miss me? ;)

Angel.from.the.schuy: I wouldn't miss you if I was dying lost at sea

J.laur: OOH burn

J.laur: but I may or may not have like Zero food in our apartment so @Trash.master Where u Live??

Trash.master: I'll private message you the address

1margarita.pls: why tho????

Trash.master: so the rude people (cough cough HAMILTON) don't stalk me or like, egg my house

Sick.in.both.ways: Stalking and Egging are two very different actions

Trash.master: Shut up James

Sick.in.both.ways: BLOCKED

Sick.in.both.ways: BETRAYED

Sick.in.both.ways: REPORTED

Hunkcules: guys can I join?

Sick.in.both.ways: yes because you can help me keep Thomas away from the Oreos

Trash.master: jEM N O

Hunkcules: YOU GOT OREOS SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

ElizaBest: should we come now?

Trash.master: yesssssssss

ElizaBest: omw 

1margarita.pls: omw 

J.laur: omw 

Hunkcules: omw 

Angel.from.the.schuy: welp gtg anyway

Laf.baguette: WIAT BEYONCE HAS SIA IN HER BASEMENT IS THIS REALL????

Hunkcules: LA F

Trash.master: just bring the sad Frenchman with you

Hunkcules: yea ok

1margarita.pls: lol same

\----------------------------------

Hami.lion: yo you wanna go get food or something?

Hami.lion: John just ditched me idk where he's going but we have no food in our apartment

A.burr: well I just made dinner

Hami.lion: oops sorry np I'll just get food by myself 

A.burr: no I mean do you want to come over 

A.burr: but I mean if you want to order food for yourself that's fine I'm just offering

Hami.lion: YES

Hami.lion: I mean if I'm not being a bother

A.burr: nah, so you coming?

Hami.lion: omw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So cute! ^_^ 
> 
> please give me feedback especially since I'm running low on ideas. COMMENT YOUR HEART OUT


	14. Christmas special?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Holyheckers on tumblr! They made an amazing piece of art called "Gilbert du Mocha Marquis de Lafrappe"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short but it's because I'm starting to run out of ideas! Please comment things you wanna see or even like a meme you want involved! Anything to give me ideas

Trash.master: Yo a-a-ron where u @?

A.burr: my home

Trash.master: v funny but seriously were having a Netflix party and you're missing out

A.burr: pass

Trash.master: WAHT? HOW COULD YOU PASS UP NETFLIX W/ SNACKS

A.burr: I'm already eating

Trash.master: SOO?????

A.burr: and I'm with someone

Trash.master: ooooooooooh ;) I see

Trash.master: is it that Theo girl again

A.burr: NO stop its not even like that

Trash.master: suuuure it's not 

A.burr: goodbye Thomas

Trash.master: !!!!!

Trash.master sent a photo: waitIForgot2giveUaHug.gif

\------------------------------------

Hami.lion: what would you do if I just travelled everywhere on a hover board

A.burr: first of all, no

A.burr: second of all, why are you texting me we're on the same couch

Hami.lion: but you can't speak gifs 

A.burr: speaking of which look at what Jefferson just sent me

A.burr sent a photo: waitIForgot2giveUaHug.gif

Hami.lion: wtf lmfao

Hami.lion: oooooh do you wanna watch Elf?

A.burr: I should've known I would regret this

Hami.lion: come on pleeeeeeease?

A.burr: ITS AUGUST

Hami.lion: so? The Christmas spirit never dies

A.burr: fine you have to make the popcorn

Hami.lion: deal

\-----------------------------------------

A.burr: hey, you wanna spend the night?

A.burr: I mean it's real late so it would just be convenient for you maybe

A.ham: idk

A.burr: ummmmmmmm??????????

A.ham: wut

A.burr: your username????????

A.ham: WERE MATCHING

A.burr: when did you do this

A.ham: while we were watching the movie 

A.ham: when Buddy and Jovie were on their date

A.burr: that's when the idea came to you?

A.ham: ....yeah

A.ham: do you want me to change it?

A.burr: no! It's cool I like it

A.burr: matching :)

A.ham: :3333333333333333

A.burr: oh god no

A.ham: lmao but I can't stay the night :(

A.burr: why not? :(

A.ham: we have work tomorrow? 

A.burr: shit

A.ham: lol someone forgot but I should get going anyway, it's pretty late

A.burr: don't leave until I give you a hug goodbye you sneaky bastard

........

A.ham: thanks for the awesome night :)

A.burr: np :)

\-----------------------------------------

A.ham has added, Angel.from.the.schuy, ElizaBest, Hunkcules, J.laur, Laf.baguette, and 1margarita.pls to "Hamilsquad."

A.ham: gUYS WATCHING FUNNY MOVIES WITH BURR IS THE LITERAL BEST THING

A.ham: ITS JUST WHENEVER SOMETHING AMUSING HAPPENS HE JUST HAS THIS HALF SMILE THAT IS ADOOOOOORABLE 

A.ham: AND EVERYTIME A DIRTY JOKE HAPPENS HE LIKE TRIES NOT TO SMILE AND LOOKS TO THE SIDE AS IF HIS PARENTS ARE STARING AT HIM WHILE THE JOKE IS BEING MADE

A.ham: AND WHEN SOMETHING MAKES HIM LAUGH ITS JUST THE CUTEST QUIET CHUCKLE THAT MAKES MY HEART SOOOOAR

A.ham: AND WHEN SOMETHING REALLY MAKES HIM LAUGH HE JUST THROWS HIS HEAD BACK WOTH THE BIGGEST SMILE AND HE HAS THE MOST PERFECT LAUGH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

Laf.baguette: we get it, mon ami, you're in love. Now shut the fuck up and go to sleep

J.laur: what he said, we have work tomorrow Alex

A.ham: RIGHT RIGHT SORRY GNIGHT

......

A.ham: I ALMOST FORGOT, I CAUGHT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF AARON AND HE LOOKS SO NATURAL AND FUCKING GORGEOUS AGH I CANT

ElizaBest: ALEX SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP

A.ham: sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to COMMENT PLEASE COMMENT


	15. Size doesn't matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But it does when it comes to short chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all of your suggestions! I loved them all and I will try to use as many of them as I can! For now tho, ANINCREDIBLYSHORTCHAPTER ANDBTWIMSORRYABOUTTHAT

The A.ham: MCDONALDS FOR BREAKFAST 

Hunkcules: It's past noon

A.ham: MCDONALDS FOR BREAKFAST 

J.laur: ALEXANDER

A.ham: JOHN

J.laur: IM LOVIN IT

A.ham sent a picture: FUCKYES.gif

J.laur: CAN YOU PAY THO

A.ham: J O H N

J.laur: IS THAT A NO?

A.ham: J O H N

J.laur: IMMA JUST GO 

A.ham: AGH WHOS GONNA GO TO MCDONALDS WITH MEEEE

A.ham: AND PAY FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!!

A.burr: you?

A.ham: I DONT WANNA GO ALOOOOOOOOOOOONE

A.burr: you can't hear me but I'm sighing eternally

A.burr: I'll go with you

A.ham: !!!!!!

A.ham: <333333

A.burr: you want me to pick you up or should we meet there

A.ham: whatever's good for you!!!

A.burr: k lets meet, see you there

A.ham: you too!

...

ElizaBest added Angel.from.the.schuy, Hunkcules, J.laur, Laf.baguette, 1margarita.pls to the conversation, "HamBurr<3" 

ElizaBest: DID YOU SEE TGAT

J.laur: oh god

ElizaBest: DID THEY JUST CASUALLY SET UP A DATE IN THE GROUP CHAT

Laf.baguette: I KNOW I WAS JUST SILENTLY WATCHING FROM THE SIDELINES

ElizaBest: AHHHHHHHHHH

Laf.baguette: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

1margarita.pls sent a picture: Big-guy-with-tiny-ceramic-unicorns.gif

1margarita.pls: NOT GONNA LIE IM SHIPPIN IT

Hunkcules: NOT GONNA LIE IM LOSING MY SHIT

ElizaBest: @hunkcules AAAAAAHHHHH

Hunkcules: aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh 

J.laur: BY THE FUCKING WAY

J.laur: A . H A M???

Angel.from.the.schuy: OMG JOH N

Angel.from.the.schuy sent a picture: AdotBurr/ham.png

J.laur: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Angel.from.the.schuy: AAAAAAAAAHHH

Laf.baguette: this is, how you say, otp (oh, the pain???)

Hunkcules: babe it's one true pair

1margarita.pls: honestly what's the difference 

ElizaBest: NOTHING 

Angel.from.the.schuy: I think Eliza might be losing

ElizaBest: SOMEONE HELP ME IM DYYYYINGBNNNNNN

ElizaBest: SERIOUSLY IT HURTS

Laf.baguette: okay now I am slightly concerned

J.laur: Eliza are these still jokes???

Hunkcules: gurl u gud?

ElizaBest: NO

1margarita.pls: ? ? ?

J.laur: Eliza?

Laf.baguette: mon ami???

Hunkcules: Eliza??????

J.laur: should someone call her?

Laf.baguette: I'm very worried now

1margarita.pls: I called her she's not picking up

Laf.baguette: MON DIEU 

Hunkcules: ELIZAAAAAA

Angel.from.the.schuy: calm your tits everyone I skyped Eliza and she's not dying the most discomfort she's facing is from squealing into her mattress

J.laur: aww

Laf.baguette: JOHN

J.laur: I MEANT IN A AWW THATS CUTE WAY NOT IN A AWW SHES NOT DEAD WAY

Hunkcules: A+ description

J.laur: LISTEN

1margarita.pls: NOT NOW I FOUND A CLEFAIRY

ElizaBest: *flips a table* YOU WAHT

Laf.baguette: *applaudes* yes Peggy!

J.laur: ***cheers you on*** Go Go Go!

Hunkcules: *****************stares into the camera like the office***************

Angel.from.the.schuy: * * * * * * * * * * * g o p e g g y * * * * * * * * * * 

1margarita.pls: iM WHEEZIN G

ElizaBest: I'm erasing myself from the narrative

J.laur: NO****ELIZA****

Laf.baguette: COME******BACK********

ElizaBest left the conversation.

1margarita.pls: the Clefairy got away btw :(

Laf.baguette: aww mon ami, it will be alright

Hunkcules: there are plenty of fish in the sea

Angel.from.the.schuy: or in this case, plenty of Pokemon in the region 

J.laur: I

\--------------------------------------

A.ham: OK I MNOW MCDONALDS IS TERRIBLE FPR YOU BUT THESE HASH BROWNS GODDAMN

A.burr: why are you texting me? You're literally sitting next to me?

A.ham: BECAUSE IM SHOVING NY FACE WITH HASH BRRRRROOOOOWN

A.burr: fair enough

A.burr: do you want to go see a movie after this

A.ham: I JUST CHOKED 

A.burr: I SAW

A.ham: IM GOOD

A.burr: YOU BETTER BE

A.ham: CAN WE SEE CAFE SOCIETY

A.burr: WHAT

A.ham: TO SEE AT THE MOVIES

A.burr: YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AFTER YOU CHOKE

A.ham: WELL IM SORRY

A.burr: ID LIKE TO

A.ham: TO WHAT

A.burr: SEE CAFE SOCIETY

A.ham: YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AFTER SCOLDING ME

A.burr: L I S T E N

\----------------------------------------

Sick.in.both.ways: Thomas do you wanna see a movie later

Trash.master: we can't

Sick.in.both.ways: why not?

Trash.master: because hamilton went today 

Sick.both.ways: So?

Trash.master: I CANT DO THAT HE WAS IN OUR FAV THEATRE THAT PLACE HAS BEEN TAINTED

Sick.in.both.ways: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

Trash.master: I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR SUGGESTIONS!!!


	16. Not as shitposty as you thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where plot sneaks it's ass in here.
> 
> (ALSO IM APART OF A WEBCOMIC COMING OUT SOON CALLED REALM RIPPERS. ITS REALLY AWESOME AND IM THE SECONDARY ARTIST.)

J.laur: PANIC PANIC

Hunkcules: oh god what now

1margarita.pls: did you get stuck in the fridge again?

J.laur: SHUT UP THAT WAS TERRIFYING

J.laur: BUT NO IM TALKING LIKE REAL PANIC

Angel.from.the.schuy: what's happening now?

J.laur: P A N I C

Laf.baguette: JOHN ARE YOU OKAY

J.laur: NO

J.laur: WELL ACTUALLY I AM BUT ALEX IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT

ElizaBest: John, calm down. What happened to Alex?

J.laur: I DONT KNOW HE JUST CAME HOME LOOKING LIKE HE WAS GONNA CRY AND NOW HIS DOOR IS LOCKED HE WONT LET ME IN

Laf.baguette: That's why he wasn't answering me earlier.

J.laur: cHDISJCISKJRLAF

Laf.baguette: I thought his phone had lost its power or something.

Hunkcules: PANIC

Laf.baguette: IM COMING ALEXANDER

Angel.from.the.schuy: I WOULD BUT IM IN LONDON

1margarita.pls: PRAYING FOR THE HAM-MAN

ElizaBest: omg I'll try to get to the bottom of this

\-----------------------------------------

ElizaBest: Excuse me, sir?

G.Wash: Yes, Miss Schuyler?

ElizaBest: Hello. It was brought to my attention by Laurens that Alexander came home very upset and I was wondering if anything happened at work today?

G.Wash: No. I had noticed by the end of the day he was a bit short spoken but I hadn't thought anything of it. Is he alright?

ElizaBest: Hopefully. Thank you anyway.

G.Wash: Anytime, Miss Schuyler.

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: YO ASSHOLE

Trash.master: here we go...

ElizaBest: DID YOU DO ANYTHING TO ALEX BECAUSE I STG IF YOU DID

Trash.master: I didn't do anything I swear!

Trash.master: but at the debate he was being suspiciously quiet

Trash.master: I didn't wanna say anything

ElizaBest: because you won't admit you care about Alex?

Trash.master: BECAUSE I DONT CARE ABOUT HAMILTON

ElizaBest: suuuuuuure

Trash.master: SCHUYL ER

ElizaBest: ew don't call me that

ElizaBest: Schuyler's my father :O)

Trash.master: oh god you're worse than Theodosia

ElizaBest: Theodosia?

Trash.master: yeah, a friend of burr, she just came in out of no where and basically glued herself to him for like an hour

Trash.master: didn't seem like he minded tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ElizaBest: WH AT

Trash.master: oh?

ElizaBest: WHATT YO U JSUT WAHT

Trash.master: can I leave now?

ElizaBest: YES YOU CAN ASSHOLE YOURE DISMISSED

Trash.master: I 

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: HEYY ASSHOLE

A.burr: ???

ElizaBest: HOW DAER YOU TRICK ALEXANDER AMD US INTO THINKIG YOU LIEK HIM ADN THEN HVAIN G SOM SIDE CHIK OR WAHTEVR

A.burr: um

A.burr: ???

ElizaBest: BI TCH

ElizaBest: DONT YOU DARE TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN

A.burr: You don't have a son?

ElizaBest: I MAEN ALE X

A.burr: wait

ElizaBest has blocked A.burr.

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: ALEX IM SO SORRY

Ham.lion: This is John, Alex can't be here rn but I can assure you he's being covered in cuddles and kisses and love.

Ham.lion: even Ange is helping over Skype

ElizaBest: did he tell you what happened?

Ham.lion: no, he just kept mumbling about a secret girl?

ElizaBest: oh no I'm coming over right now don't worry I'll explain the whole thing

Ham.lion: Thx Detective Liza

\------------------------------------------

A.burr: ok guys Eliza yelled incoherently at me over text can I get updated on wtf is going on?

J.laur has blocked A.burr.

Laf.baguette has blocked A.burr.

Hunkcules has blocked A.burr.

Angel.from.the.schuy has blocked A.burr.

1margarita.pls: asshole

1margarita.pls has blocked A.burr.

A.burr: oh

Ham.lion has blocked A.burr.

A.burr: ...oh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Eliza's texts were becoming so incoherent was because while she was typing she was tearing up. 
> 
> Make sure to comment on your pain!


	17. New squad memeber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation cheer up alex

Teddy: hey honey how's it going

A.burr: not good i don't even know what happened

Teddy: aww tell Theo alllll about it lol

A.burr: Alex and his friends (my acquaintances?) just blocked me for some reason

Teddy: When?

A.burr: yesterday and I don't know what I did to hurt Alex or whoever

Teddy: well why don't you ask then?

A.burr: I tried but he really made an effort to avoid me

A.burr: Madison thought it impressive

Teddy: aw poor baby

A.burr: me or him? I didn't do anything!

Teddy: of course sweetie! Do you want me to come over? We can cuddle

A.burr: and watch Netflix???

Teddy: of course babe! <3

A.burr: yeah I'd like that :)

Teddy: omw 

\------------------------------------------

Ham.lion: Eliza?

ElizaBest: yeah? Alex what's up

Ham.lion: do you think you could come over? If you're not busy of course

ElizaBest: yeah? Why, isn't John there?

Ham.lion: well I basically forced him to go to the store

Ham.lion: I don't really want him or herc or Laf rn

Ham.lion: NOT THAT I DONT CARE I love them to death but

Ham.lion: it would mean a lot to me if you came over

ElizaBest: I'm already in the car omw :)

Ham.lion: :)

\-----------------------------------------

J.laur: Eliza why is your car here

ElizaBest: because Alex needed motherly love

J.laur: WITHOUT ME

ElizaBest: children children my motherly love never runs out

J.laur: BUT STILL

J.laur: IM RUNNING

\------------------------------------------

Laf.baguette: IM HERE 

Hunkcules: SO AM I

ElizaBest: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE 

Laf.baguette: JOHN SAID HE WAS GETTING LOVING OF THE MOTHER

Hunkcules: WE WANT IN

ElizaBest: GODDAMIT I ALREdy HAVE TWO BOYS UNDER MY ARMS

Hunkcules: GET READY FOR TWO MORE

ElizaBest: AHHHHHHHHH

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest has entered "Schuyler Sisters".

ElizaBest: HELP IM BEING SMOTHERED IN CHILDREN

Angel.from.the.schuy: I thought you didn't work on weekends?

ElizaBest: NOT DAYCARE CHILDREN

ElizaBest: GROWN MEN CHILDREN

Angel.from.the.schuy: lol good luck with that

1margarita.pls: where are you?

ElizaBest: AT ALEX AND JOHN'S 

ElizaBest: ALEX NEEDED LIZA LOVE SO I CAME OVER AND THEN THE REST JUST SWARMED

1margarita.pls: k that's actually perfect stay right there

ElizaBest: I CANT REALLY GO ANYWHERE

Angel.from.the.schuy: Peggy what are you planning

1margarita.pls: a grand master plan to demolish all other plans

Angel.from.the.schuy: um?

1margarita.pls: jk its just a make Alex happy plan

Angel.from.the.schuy: aww carry on then  
:)

\------------------------------------------

1margarita.pls: LET ME IN FUCKERS IM HERE

1margarita: WAIT MAKE SURE ITS ELIZA

J.laur: BUT MOTHERLY LOVE

1margarita.pls: FUCK YOUR LOVE

Hunkcules: gASP

Laf.baguette: pEGGY HOW COULD YOU

1margarita.pls: easy, like this

J.laur: OMG I CAN HEAR HER SCREAMING

Hunkcules: DAM N SHE LOUD

Laf.baguette: UGH WERE GONNA HAVE TO LET ELIZA GO

J.laur: UUUUUUUUUUGH

Hunkcules: UUUUUUUUGGGH

Laf.baguette: I love how Alex did it irl

1margarita.pls: LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!

ElizaBest: HAKUNA YOUR TATAS IM COMING

ElizaBest: OMG PEGGY WTF

1margarita.pls: DONT SAY SHIT ITS A SURPRISE

Hunkcules: IM WORRIED

Laf.baguette: IM EXCITED

J.laur: IM YES

ElizaBest has added Angel.from.the.schuy to the group chat.

ElizaBest: SOMEONE TEXT ANGEL SO SHES UPDATED WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION

Angel.from.the.schuy: YES PLEASE

Hunkcules: ILL DO IT

Hunkcules: we are currently sitting here with Alex waiting for Peggy and Eliza

Hunkcules: Laf currently looks exactly like Keisha Johnson 

Laf.baguette: v confused

Angel.from.the.schuy: valuable information

Hunkcules: we can hear the girls giggling as they make their way towards our room

Hunkcules: Peggy is holdi

Angel.from.the.schuy: ???

Hunkcules: PEGGY HAS A FUCKING KITTEN

Angel.from.the.schuy: rEALYY??!?

Hunkcules: ITS SO FUCKING ADORABLE

Hunkcules: PEGGY JUST PUT IT IN ALEXS HANDS

Hunkcules: HE LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO CRY

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM ABOUT TO CRY

Hunkcules sent a photo: newfather.jpg

Angel.from.the.schuy: ITS SO TINY

Hunkcules: I KNOW RIGHT

Hunkcules: JOHN IS HYPERVENTILATING AND LAFAYETTE IS CRYING

Hunkcules: BASICALLY WERE ALL DYING

Angel.from.the.schuy: SKYPE ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: so Alex do you have a name for him?

Catfather: im thinking Phillip

J.laur: why Phillip

Catfather: because that's what I will name my first born son

Catfather: his name is Phillip

Laf.baguette: CAN I BE THE GODFATHER

Hunkcules: NO FAIR I WAS GONNA ASK

Catfather: okay  
Eliza is the godmother  
Angelica and Peggy are the cool aunts  
John is the Godfather  
And laf and herc are the weird uncles with the bad jokes

Laf.baguette: ROOD

Laf.baguette: BUT I ACCEPT

Hunkcules: SAME

1margarita.pls: SAME

ElizaBest: IM HONORED

J.laur: ME TOO I SO GRATEFUL

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM GONNA START CRYING AGAIN

Catfather: ANGEL DONT

Angel.from.the.schuy: TOO LATE

Catfather has sent a photo: smolbab.jpg

Catfather: AHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phillip is a tiny gray kitty! PLEASE LOVE HIM HE NEEDS LOTS OF LOVE
> 
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/50/15/05/501505668e8d7c42da24aa7c58d02fec.jpg


	18. CATastrophe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol when you realize Philip Hamilton's name has only one L and you've been writing it with two. :))))))

Catfather: GUYS GUYS LOOK WHAT I DID

Catfather sent a photo: PhiliplovesFranklin.jpg

1margarita.pls: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT TURTLE COSTUME

Catfather: ONLINE ITS ACTUALLY FOR SMALL DOGS SO ITS BIG ON HIM

ElizaBest: Alex that's adorable!!!!

J.laur: IGNORING THE NAME OF THE PIC MY HEART IS MELTING 

Laf.baguette: such a cute kitty cat!!! I love him so much! <3333

Hunkcules: whos that in the back?

Angel.from.the.schuy: wAIT IS THAT

Catfather sent a photo: catgrandfather.jpg

Catfather: the amount of love he has for Philip is unimpeachable

J.laur: GWASH IS TOO CuTE I CANT

Laf.baguette: HE JUST GOES FROM BADASS TO GIANT CUTIE SO FAST

Hunkcules: PHILIP IS LIKE AN ANT COMPARED TO HIM

ElizaBest: HE LIKE FITS IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND

Angel.from.the.schuy: LOOK AT THE SMILE ON HIS FACE

Angel.from.the.schuy: HES SO PROUD

1margarita.pls: AAAAWWWWWWWW

Laf.baguette: I LOVE HIM

Hunkcules: AHEMMMMM

Laf.baguette: DID I STUTTER????

Hunkcules: DIVORCED

Catfather: YOURE NOT EVEN MARRIED

Hunkcules: DIVORCED 

Laf.baguette: im sorry I love you <3

Hunkcules: <3

ElizaBest: all this cuteness is hurting my heart

Catfather: how do you think I feel all the time around you guys?

ElizaBest: aww <3

Angel.from.the.schuy: <3

J.laur: <3

1margarita.pls: <3

Hunkcules: <3

Laf.baguette: <3

Catfather: <3

\------------------------------------------

Trash.master: WAHT THE FUCK

Trash.master: THE OFFICE HAS STRICT RULES OF NO ANIMALS

Trash.master: WHY THE FUCK SHOULD FUCKING HAMILTON BE ABLE TO BRING IN A FUCKING KITTEN?!?!?!

Sick.in.both.ways: you have to admit though, that cat was pretty adorable

Trash.master: NOT THE POINT JAMES

Sick.in.both.ways: I saw the look you gave it

Trash.master: .....

Sick.in.both.ways: Thomas?

Trash.master: hOW COME CATS NEVER LIKE ME????

Sick.in.both.ways: there it is

Trash.master: THEYRE SO CUTE BUT THEY ALWAYS BITE MY HAIR AND CLAW AT ME

Sick.both.ways: it just wasn't meant to be Thomas

Trash.master: UGHHHHHH

Sick.in.both.ways: good thing you get along with dogs

\------------------------------------------

Teddy: I know you're at work rn and you don't like it when I text you while you're there but

Teddy: I'm making some fucking amazing lasagna and you are coming over tonight whether you like it or not

A.burr: ok Theo I'll see you tonight :)

Teddy: love you <3

A.burr: love you too <3

...

A.burr: ok sorry but I just went to speak with Washington and I'm pretty sure this is the happiest I've seen him since ever

Teddy: what happened?

A.burr: I don't know??? He just has this giant smile and honestly it's just a tiny bit unsettling

Teddy: just be happy for him then

A.burr: HE JUST MUMBLED SOMETHING ABOUT BEING A GRANDFATHER

Teddy: OH

\------------------------------------------

Catfather: I am currently holding up Philip while John plays circle of life

1margarita.pls: legendary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was to supposed to post this tomorrow BUT I GOT TO EXCITED
> 
> But PLEASE COMMENT TO FILL MY EMPTY SOUL AND PROBABLY MAKE CHAPTERS SPAWN FASTER


	19. Kitty kintervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YO THERE IS A SIDE FIC SORTA AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT. ITS IN A SERIES WITH THIS AND ITS SCENES FROM THIS STORY BUT ACTUALLY WRITTEN. ITS CALLED "NOT FROM THE PHONE"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where I lowkey love Jefferson because I do (also cats I love cats with a passion)

Catgrandfather: Jefferson?

Trash.master: yes sir?

Trash.master: I MEAN

T.Jeff: what can I do for you sir?

Catgrandfather: I need you to work on the finance plans with Hamilton.

T.Jeff: oh of course when sir?

Catgrandfather: Tonight.

Catgrandfather: I know you two live near each other and we need an agreed on plan as soon as possible. Is that alright, Mr. Jefferson?

T.Jeff: um

T.Jeff: Nope! Nothing wrong with it sir

Catgrandfather: Good.

T.Jeff: Sir? I have a question

Catgrandfather: Yes?

T.jeff: Your username?

Catgrandfather: What about it?

T.Jeff: never mind.

\------------------------------------------

Screaming: HAMILTON

Catfather: who is this

Screaming: GODDAMIT YOU TOO

Catfather: WHO IS THIS

Screaming: JEFFERSON 

Catfather: EW

Screaming: WASHINGTON NEEDS US TO WORK TOGETHER ON THE FINANCIAL PLAN 

Catfather: EW

Screaming: WE NEED TO START TONIGHT

Catfather: WAHT

Screaming: EXACTLY EITHER YOU COME TO MY PLACE OR IM COMING TO YOURS

Catfather: I dont feel like visiting a dumpster rn so I guess you can come over here

Screaming: ugh fine what's your address

\------------------------------------------

 

Catfather: JOHN REMOVE ALL CAT STUFF FROM THE LIVING ROOM

J.laur: WHY

Catfather: BECAUSE JEFFERSON IS COMING OVER I DONT LIKE IT EITHER BUT WASHINGTON HAD TO HAVE US WORK TOGETHER TONIGHT

J.laur: WERE CLEANING THE APARTMENT FOR JEFFERSON???

Catfather: JOHN REMOVE MOST CAT STUFF FROM THE LIVING ROOM

J.laur: REALLY

Catfather: YES BECAUSE I ALMOST TRIPPED ON A CAT TOY AND O N T O PHILIP

J.laur: OH SHIT

\------------------------------------------

Screaming: WHY IS THERE CAT STUFF LITERALLY EVERYWHERE 

Catfather: WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME FROM THE BATHROOM

Screaming: BECAUSE I CANT GET INTO THE BATHROOM BECAUSE OF ALL THE CAT STUFF

Catfather: THE MOVE IT YOU RESPIRATING GARBAGE

Screaming: I

\------------------------------------------

Screaming: your cat is on me 

Catfather: if it bothers you then take him off

Screaming: can't I'm too lazy

Catfather: uggggh

....

Catfather: HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED 

Screaming: YOUR DEVIL CAT JUST YANKED MY HAIR THATS WHAT

Catfather: HA HE GETS IT FROM ME IM SO PROUD OF YOU PHILIP

Screaming: GODDAMIT WHY DO ALL CATS HATE ME

Catfather: okay I doubt ALL cats hate you

Screaming: NO THEY ALL SCRATCH AND BITE ME A N D MY HAIR

Screaming: WHY DO THEY HATE MY HAIR

Catfather: BECAUSE ITS PERFECT CAT TOY MATERIAL YOU DUMBASS

Screaming: WAHT

Catfather: ITS BIG FLOOFY AND CURLY OF COURSE CATS PLAY WITH IT

Catfather: PHILIP IS OBSESSED WITH JOHN'S HAIR

Catfather: HELL HE EVEN PLAYS WITH MY HAIR

Screaming: BUT IT HURTS

Catfather: ITS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR CUTENESS

Screaming: I DONT UNDERSTAND 

catfather: THEN GET READY TO FUCKING LEARN

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: how come I left you guys glaring at each other but now you're playing with Philip whilst giggling

Catfather: were learning

J.laur: I'm leaving now

\------------------------------------------

Screaming: it hurts but it's worth it

Catfather: you shouldn't say that without context but yes I get what you mean

Screaming: oops

Catfather: I don't think I've ever seen Philip so in love with something let alone a toy or hair

Screaming: I feel special

Screaming: ow

Catfather: it must be your hair type in general 

Screaming: what about Lafayette?

Catfather: his hair is always up so

Screaming: LOL MISSING OUT

catfather: basically

\------------------------------------------

Screaming: JAMES I FEEL SO ENLIGHTENED

Sick.in.both.ways: ok? Nice username btw

Screaming sent a photo: fluffyfuntimes.jpg

Sick.in.both.ways: ok that's pretty fucking cute

Screaming: HE LOVES ME

screaming: CATS LIKE ME

Sick.in.both.ways: I'm happy for you Thomas

\------------------------------------------

A.burr: Remember yesterday when Washington was weirdly happy?

Teddy: yeah why

A.burr: JEFFERSON CAME IN THIS MORNING WITH THE GOOFIEST SMILE

A.burr: THIS IS SO STRANGE

Teddy: ASK HIM

A.burr: I JUST DID HE JUST RESPONDED WITH CATS

A.burr: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Teddy: AARON CALM DOWN

A.burr: I DONT UNDERSTAND I WANNA BE UNREASONABLY HAPPY

Teddy: BAB E

\------------------------------------------

Screaming: ALE X

Catfather: WHAT

Screaming: WOULD YOU BE MAD IF I GOT A CAT

Catfather: YES DONT YOU DARE STEAL PHILIPS SPOTLIGHT BITCH

Screaming: oK IM DOING IT BUT BECUASE IT MAKES YOU ANGRY

Screaming: CLARIFYING BECAUSE I LOVE PHILIP

Catfather: I HATE YOU AND YOUR FUTURE CAT

Screaming: IM GONNA NAME HER LUCY

Catfather: THATS A STUPID NAME IM GONNA SET UP ALL THE PLAYDATES 

Screaming: Y E S

Catfather: ITS GONNA BE L I T 

Screaming: IM SCREAMING

Catfather: I WANNA MAKE A JOKE ABOUT THE USERNAME BUT I CANT THINK OF ONE

Macaroni&shade: B)

Catfather: fuck you

Macaroni&shade: <3

\------------------------------------------

Catfather: gUYS

Catfather sent a photo: FutureLucy.jpg

Laf.baguette: WHOS CAT DOES THAT BELONG TO

Catfather: NO ONE YET BUT THOMAS IS TRYING TO ADOPT HER

Hunkcules: WAIT REALLY I THOUGHT HE HATES CATS

Catfather: NO HE THOUGHT CATS HATED HIM

Catfather: NOW HE LOVES THEM

Catfather: TO AN ALMOST WORRYING LEVEL

1margarita.pls: lol same

Angel.from.the.schuy: I can tell you from experience that he was always obsessed with pussy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J.laur: NO STOP BAD IMAGES BAD 

ElizaBest: EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW

Catfather: ANYWAYYYY

Catfather: SHE AND PHILIP ARE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS Y O U DO N T E V E N K N O W

ElizaBest: THATS GONNA BE SO CUTE

Catfather: I KNOW RIGHT  
\------------------------------------------

catfather: Eliza?

ElizaBest: Alex what are you doing up you should be asleep

Catfather: I know I just can't sleep

ElizaBest: why?

Catfather: I miss Aaron

ElizaBest: I know, but it's better then him mistreating you

Catfather: yeah...

ElizaBest: do you need me to come over?

Catfather: no I'm sorry for bothering you

ElizaBest: you're not bothering me Alex

Catfather has left the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PICTURE OF LUCY BECAUSE NECCESARY 
> 
> http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/orange-tabby-mixed-breed-kitten-larry-allan.jpg


	20. Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when everyone was happy and this was full of jokes? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

A.burr: Theo? Can I come over?

Teddy: sure why?

A.burr: I miss Alex

Teddy: Aww poor baby <3

A.burr: he was a really good friend

Teddy: you should try to talk to him

A.burr: how? I barely even see him anymore

Teddy: don't you have any mutual friends?

A.burr: well its mutual, but I wouldn't call it "friends"

Teddy: you're gonna text Jefferson aren't you

A.burr sent a photo: Iguess.jpg

Teddy: you fucking meme

\------------------------------------------

A.burr: Thomas?

Macaroni&shade: wut up

A.burr: Would you to do something for me

Macaroni&shade: maybeeeee

A.burr: would you please tell Hamilton something for me

A.burr: only tell him!

Macaroni&shade: sure

A.burr: wait really?

Macaroni&shade: yeah what do u want me 2 say

A.burr: um just tell him that I don't know what I did but I really want to sort it out. I miss being with him.

....

Macaroni&shade: he said you should know what u did

A.burr: wait are you with him rn?

Macaroni&shade: no I texted him

A.burr: you have his number?

Macaroni&shade: yeah?

A.burr: then tell him that I'm really sorry cause if it's anything to ruin our relationship I didn't mean it

A.burr: tell him that he means a lot to me, and that I miss him, and I want to be with him again

Macaroni&shade: um...okay

\------------------------------------------

Catfather: tell him he should know what he did

Macaroni&shade: alrighty 

....

Catfather: Thomas?

Macaroni&shade: uh yeah

Catfather: what did he say? Did he talk shit, was he sad?

Macaroni&shade: um he said

Macaroni&shade: he said that he doesn't understand what he did wrong in fact he says he didn't do anything wrong and refutes doing anything to you and doesn't wanna talk anymore

Catfather: well he wasn't gonna get to talk to me anyway

Macaroni&shade: hey um what's this all about exactly

Catfather: It doesn't matter anymore I gtg

Macaroni&shade: wait Alex

Catfather: what

Macaroni&shade: never mind, you'd say no anyway

Catfather: bye Thomas

\------------------------------------------

Macaroni&shade: JAMES I FUCKED UP

Macaroni&shade: JAMES I AM FUCKED UP

Sick.in.both.ways: when are you not?

Macaroni&shade: JAMES I SWEAR IM GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK WHAT HAVE I DONE

Sick.in.both.ways: woah Thomas calm down I'm coming over okay?

Macaroni&shade: okay good okay

Sick.in.both.ways: hang on tight and remember to breathe 

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: GUYS YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I CAME HOME TODAY AND ALEX IS CRYING ON THE COUCH HOLDING PHILIP

Laf.baguette: IM RUNNING

Hunkcules: im making sure he gets there in an actual vehicle

ElizaBest: Give Alexander my love, I'm working late tonight :(

Angel.from.schuy: im in London, skype me in

1margarita.pls: I'm studying for my exams, tell Alex he's amazing for me

J.laur: will do

Laf.baguette: UGH WE ARE NOT ASSEMBLED

Hunkcules: didn't Alex and Thomas get on pretty good terms recently Should we contact him?

Angel.from.the.schuy: I'll do it

\------------------------------------------

Angel.from.the.schuy: Yo Thomas I know you and Alex aren't the best of friends but he's going through a tough time and we would really appreciate it if you came help comfort him

Angel.from.the.schuy: Thomas?

Angel.from.the.schuy: Thomas I know you don't LOVE Alex but he really needs people around him right now

Angel.from.the.schuy: THOMAS

Angel.from.the.schuy: THOMAS I SWEAR IF YOU IGNORE ONE MORE TEXT

Macaroni&shade: hey this is James, we hope Alex is okay but Thomas isn't really at his best right now.

Angel.from.the.schuy: what happened?

Macaroni&shade: Im not allowed to tell

Angel.from.the.schuy: alright, sorry for bothering

Macaroni&shade: it's nothing, don't worry

\------------------------------------------

A.burr: Theo i don't know what to do

Teddy: honey you've done all you can do

A.burr: so what do I do now?

Teddy: Aaron are you okay?

A.burr: no

A.burr: I really really like him Theo

Teddy: I know honey I guess it just wasn't meant to be

\------------------------------------------

Sick.in.both.ways: I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but I must inform you that Thomas won't be able to come in tomorrow due to certain personal circumstances

Catgrandfather: Thomas too?

Sick.in.both.ways: Sir?

Catgrandfather: it's just that Hamilton and Burr are also unable to come in tomorrow.

Catgrandfather: Am I missing something thing, Madison?

Sick.in.both.ways: Not that I know of, Sir.

Catgrandfather: Alright. Have a good night, Madison.

Sick.in.both.ways: You too, Sir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drink my readers' tears* isn't this fic funny?


	21. Where are you, Christmas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter consisting of angst, sadness and a total of 1 joke. I'm not kidding, because then I would have to make it 2 jokes.

Catfather: John?

J.laur: Ye?

Catfather: could you get me Philip? I need kitten cuddles rn

J.laur: sure bud

Catfather: don't call me bud

...

J.laur: um Alex where was the last place you saw Philip

Catfather: idk why???

J.laur: I can't find him

Catfather: WHA T

\------------------------------------------

Catfather: GUYS PHILIP IS LOST I REPEAT PHILIP IS LOST

Laf.baguette: MY NEPHEW

J.laur: MY GODSON

Laf.baguette: fuck you john

Catfather: GUYS THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR MEMES OR PROBLEMATIC FAMILY JOKES

Catfather: WE NEED TO FIND MY CAT

ElizaBest: im driving home now and keeping an eye out for him

Angel.from.the.schuy: im in london

Angel.from.the.schuy: but praying you find him

Pegster: SCREW EXAMS I GOTTA FIND MY FRIENDS SON

Hunkcules: yo nice new username peg

Catfather: HERCULES

Hunkcules: dw I'm out looking with Laf and we're gonna find him Alex don't panic

Catfather: JOHN LETS GO

J.laur: im literally right behind you Alex

\------------------------------------------

Pegster: where r u philiiiiiip? Why can't I find yooooou? Why have you gone awaaaayyy?

ElizaBest: PEGGY THATS NOT FUNNY

Pegster: sorry

\------------------------------------------

Catfather: Thomas I need you

Macaroni&shade: what!!?!!??

Catfather: PHILIP IS LOST AND ITS ALMOST DARK I NEED HELP LOOKING FOR HIM PLEASE HELP ME

Macaroni&shade: oh my god

Macaroni&shade: okay yeah James and i will start looking right away

Catfather: thank you

....

Macaroni&shade: anything for a friend...

\------------------------------------------

Catfather: IM ABOUT TO START CRYING

catfather: A G A IN

Catfather: WHY ISNT ANYTHING GOING RIGHT ANYMORE

J.laur: Alex calm down we've been looking all night, you need some sleep

Catfather: YEAH WHILE PHILIP IS IN DANGER???

Catfather: HES A LITTLE BABY KITTEN WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD GO WRONG

Catfather: i cant

...

Hunkcules: is Alex okay?

J.laur: no, but I've managed to get him home and in bed

Laf.baguette: ugh knowing Alexander is miserable makes me miserable

Hunkcules: me too but the only thing we can do rn is hope that we find Philip soon

J.laur: if at all

\------------------------------------------

Sick.in.both.ways: Thomas we should go back now

Macaroni&shade: no way

Sick.in.both.ways: Thomas it's past ten and we don't have flashlights

Macaroni&shade: so

Sick.in.both.ways: this isn't safe and you know it

...

Sick.in.both.ways: you know finding Philip won't make him love you

Macaroni&shade: stop

Sick.in.both.ways: no Thomas you need to stop for your own health

...

Macaroni&shade: I know

Macaroni&shade: it's so frustrating

Macaroni&shade: why did it have to be him

Macaroni&shade: why do I have to worry so much

Macaroni&shade: why do I always overthink things

Macaroni&shade: why am I willing to throw everything away for this

Sick.in.both.ways: because you're human Thomas

Macaroni&shade: let's go back

\------------------------------------------

Pegster: I feel somewhat like this is my fault

ElizaBest: how is it your fault Philip is lost

Pegster: not that he's lost, it just

Pegster: Alex was unhappy so I got him a cat, and now he's even more miserable

ElizaBest: that has nothing to do with you Peggy

ElizaBest: Remember the smile on his face when you put Philip in his arms

Pegster: remember how sad he was when he couldn't find him

ElizaBest: Peggy

Pegster: Eliza

....

ElizaBest: please don't beat yourself up over this

\------------------------------------------

Teddy: Aaron?

Teddy: Aaron I've been texting and calling you all day please tell me you're alright

Teddy: Aaron you're scaring me

Teddy: if you don't answer in the next ten minutes Aaron I'm calling 911

\------------------------------------------

A.burr: I found a kitten, Theo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (don't worry Aaron's fine he just went out on a walk without his phone)
> 
> Also my own heart is aching for Thomas why do I do this to myself
> 
>  
> 
> Also also the "dont call me bud" is actually from a YouTube video when a woman gets her tonsils taken out (still loopy) and she thinks they operated on her legs for some reason so she's crying and when she asks for something her husband says sure bud and in the tiniest voice she says don't call me bud (it's really funny I swear)


	22. My husband returned from the war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats bring people together :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter where Thomas represents my life with crippling depression

A.burr: Thomas I know you have a newly uncovered obsession with cats so I need advice

Macaroni&shade: what do you mean?

A.burr: I found a kitten and I don't really know what to do???

Macaroni&shade: WAIT WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE

A.burr: gray with blue eyes?

Macaroni&shade: OMG

Macaroni&shade: AARON THIS IS PERFECT

A.burr: you never call me Aaron

Macaroni&shade: YOU HAVE TO GO FIND ALEXANDER

Macaroni&shade: RIGHT NOW

A.burr: what do you mean what are you talking about?

Macaroni&shade: JUST GO FIND ALEX

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: um Alex

Depressed: what

J.laur: Jefferson is here

Depressed: what

J.laur: he says he needs to see you

Depressed: did he find Philip?

J.laur: no...

Depressed: oh

J.laur: come on he looks like he ran the entire way here

Depressed: coming

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: OK WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH ALEX AND JEFFERSONS RELATIONSHIP 

Laf.baguette: you say this as if Alexander will not see it

J.laur: IM JUST SO CONFUSED

Hunkcules: true tho like they were enemies then frenemies then friends and now they're ???

J.laur: EXACTLY

ElizaBest: but we'll support Alex in all of his decisions

Pegster: even if his decision is to be with trash or kick him in the trash

Angel.from.the.schuy: PEGGY

Pegster: LET ME KID

J.laur: they're talking so quietly I can't hear anything 

ElizaBest: maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't eavesdrop on their private conversation

J.laur: nah

Laf.baguette: nah

Pegster: nah

Hunkcules: wow

J.laur: HES COMING

Depressed: hey....

ElizaBest: so why did Jefferson show up uninvited?

.....

Depressed: he kissed me

J.laur: WHAT

ElizaBest: WHAT

Hunkcules: WHAT

Laf.baguette: WHAT

Angel.from.the.schuy: WHAT

Pegster: WHAT

Depressed: he just kissed me

J.laur: WAI T BUT I HEARD TALKING

Depressed: he kissed me and then he just said to forgive Aaron and to hate him

Hunkcules: he wants you to hate him?

ElizaBest: maybe he misses the rivalry

Depressed: he sounded so sad

Pegster: im so confused 

Angel.from.the.schuy: I think we all are

Depressed: he kissed me

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: UM WHY IS AARON BURR AT OUR DOOR

Laf.baguette: screams in fear of the unknown

Depressed: let him in

...

J.laur: ok

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: OMG HE HAS PHILIP

ElizaBest: OMG ITS LIKE CINDERELLA WITH A KITTEN INSTEAD OF A SHOE

Pegster: I KNEW ELIZA STILL SHIPPED IT

Hunkcules: I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID

Laf.baguette: WE DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS YOU GUYS

ElizaBest: WOOOOOOOO

Laf.baguette: GUY S

J.laur: THEYRE STILL TALKIING

J.laur: (Alex has Philip now btw)

J.laur: alex is getting kinds upset

J.laur: Burr looks so desperate 

J.laur: Alex is smiling now

J.laur: THEYRE HUGGING

ElizaBest: THEYRE HUGGING

Pegster: oooooo000000OOOOOOOO

J.laur: THEY KISSED

ElizaBest: F U C K Y E S

Hunkcules: IM SO AFRAID OF AND FOR ELIZA RN

Pegster: IM HOOTING

Angel.from.the.schuy: I JUST THREW MY PHONE

Laf.baguette: VIVA LA FRANCE

Hunkcules: VICTORY SCREECH

ElizaBest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Depressed: JESUS YOURE ALL TRAINWRECKS

Angel.from.the.schuy: LOOKS WHOS TALKING

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: wait so Theo and you used to date but now?

Rly.sorry: we're just really good friends

Rly.sorry: like siblings basically

J.laur: what I don't get is the texting with Jefferson 

A.ham: well I think he switched up Aaron's words

Rly.sword: more like he said something completely different to make me the bad guy

Pegster: dick move

Laf.baguette: what will you do Alexander?

A.ham: honestly

A.ham: I wanna be mad but

A.ham: he felt threatened and he impulsively did something stupid

A.ham: I do that 90% of the time

Hunkcules: you don't know if he did it impulsively

A.ham: I think he did

Angel.from.the.schuy: you want to believe he did

A.ham: we'll see

J.laur: and you guys are?

A.ham: dating

Rly.sorry: dating

A.ham: :)

Rly.sorry: ;)

ElizaBest: Y E S S S S S S SSSSSSS

Rly.sorry: OH MY

Pegster: IM LAUGHING

A.ham: uh erm just uh give her a minute lmao

Rly.sorry: Franklin help her

A.ham: OH MY GO D

Pegster: IT RETURNS

J.laur has left the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy: there he go

ElizaBest: praise our lord

Laf.baguette: mon dieu

Hunkcules: sacre bleu!!!

Laf.baguette: OKAY NO

A.ham: LO L

Laf.baguette: HERCULES I AM COMING FOR YOUR ASS 

Hunkcules: ;) daddy

Laf.baguette has left the conversation.

Rly.sorry: O H H H

Pegster: MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED

ElizaBest: I am sCREAMING

Hunkcules: payback

A.ham sent a photo: notArapper.gif

Angel.from.the.schuy: WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS 

A.ham: *finger guns*

ElizaBest has added Laf.baguette to the conversation.

Laf.baguette: lord Franklin help us all

Rly.sorry: YE

\------------------------------------------

Macaroni&shade: jemmy did I do the right thing

Sick.in.both.ways: yes you absolutely did and I'm proud of you

Macaroni&shade: lol thanks dad

Sick.in.both.ways: let us go play catch together son

Macaroni&shade: ok stop this its creepy now

Sick.in.both.ways: lmao

Macaroni&shade: im gonna miss him

Sick.in.both.ways: I know, Thomas.

Sick.in.both.ways: I guess it just wasn't meant to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEVE COME FULL CIRCLE PEOPLE GET READY FOR MORE MEMES AND UNDERAPPRECIATED SUGGESTIONS THAT I STILL HAVENT DIRECTLY USED
> 
> (Also comment pls and thank)
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO CHECK OUT THIS WEBCOMIC THAT ME AND FRIENDS MADE! ITS CALLED REALM RIPPERS AND ITS SICK AS SHIT. CHECK IT OUT ON TAPASTIC WITH UPDATES AND SUCH ON TUMBLR, INSTAGRAM, AND TWITTER (with an underscore)


	23. Gay shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a guess at what's gonna happen

A.ham: why does Philip love Aaron more than me?

J.laur: he doesn't, he just knows Aaron is weaker and can get more cat treats from him

A.ham: you always know what to say john

Pegster: gay

Hunkcules: when isn't it?

Laf.baguette changed the conversation name to "gay".

Angel.from.the.schuy: accurate

ElizaBest: SPEAKIN OF GAY I MET THE MOST HOTTEST HOTTIE OF HOTNESS

A.burr: most hottest

ElizaBest: SHUT UP BURR DO YOU WANT THE GAYNESS OR NOT

A.burr: tell me more tell me more did you get very far

A.ham: noice

ElizaBest: SHE WAS SOOOOOO PRETTY AND I TRIED TO GO UP TO HER AND ASK HER NAME BUT WE BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER LIKE A FUCKING MOVIE

Pegster: and caaaaan you feel the love toniiiiight

Angel.from.the.schuy: I don't know her name but I ship it!

ElizaBest: ME NEITHER BUT SAME

Hunkcules: wait what

A.burr: !!!Eliza that is probably the most necessary information to have!!!

Laf.baguette: MON DIEU ELIZA

J.laur: O GOD LIZA WHO KNOWS IF YOULL SEE HER AGAIN

ElizaBest: FATE IS ON MY SIDE 

ElizaBest: WELL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AND WELL BE TOGETHER FOREVER

A.ham: Eliza when did you become me?

Pegster: that must have been one smooth hottie

J.laur: or a smooth criminal

A.burr: oh no

Hunkcules: YOUVE BEEN HIT BY

Pegster: YOUVE BEEN SHOT BY

A.ham: A SMOOTH CRIMINAL

J.laur: DUN DUN DUDUN DU DU DUDUN DU DU DUDUN AGHH

Angel.from.the.schuy has left the conversation.

Pegster has added Angel.from.the.schuy

Laf.baguette: i am very confused

Hunkcules: its a Michael Jackson song Laf

Laf.baguette: all I know is that he did thriller and he dead

A.burr: god rest his soul

A.ham: god rEST HIS SOUL

Angel.from.the.schuy: he ded 

Pegster: GOD REST HIS SOUL ANGIE

ElizaBest: WERE OF TOPIC

J.laur: HOW DARE ELIZA

A.ham: FOR MICHEAL JACKSONS SAKE

Hunkcules: G O D R E S T H I S S O U L

ElizaBest: S TOP

Laf.baguette: my brain hurts

Hunkcules: does your face hurt?

A.burr: don't

J.laur: CUZ ITS KILLIN ME

Hunkcules: CAUSE ITS KILLING ME

A.ham: STOP IT WITH THE DAD JOKES

ElizaBest: U G H

Angel.from.the.schuy: THIS PHYSICALLY HURTS

Laf.baguette: le sigh

Pegster: that feel when bae calls you ugly in the group chat

Laf.baguette: YEAH,,, B A E

Hunkcules: oh my

A.ham: @a.burr you better not pull this shit ever

A.burr: I would never <3

A.ham: <3

Pegster: *vomits*

Hunkcules: IM SORRY LAF IT WAS JUST A DAD JOKE ILY

Laf.baguette: ily 2 mon amour

Hunkcules: hold on lemme just swoon

A.ham: lmao that feel when you have to get shit outta the way before you can swoon

Laf.baguette: <3

Pegster: *vomits on vomit*

ElizaBest: SHUT UP THIS IS CUTE

A.ham: not as cute as Aaron ;P

A.burr: hold on lemme just swoon

Angel.from.the.schuy: when you single so you can't swoon

ElizaBest: im swooning over my mystery girl

Pegster: im swooning over myself

J.laur: lol same except not really

A.ham: b ABE

Hunkcules: don't worry john you'll find someone soon

A.burr: yeah like this hottie

A.burr has sent a photo: turtlegod.jpeg

J.laur has left the conversation.

A.ham: I love my boyfriend 

A.burr: <3

Pegster: *vomits again* goddamit guys how many times

Hunkcules: until the gayness has spread

Laf.baguette: Hhhell yeahh

Angel.from.the.schuy: it's been spreading pretty fucking far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING LOOK UP REALM RIPPERS ITS RAD AS FUCK (ITS ON TAPASTIC)


	24. Too Much™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John needs to stop walking while texting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WANNA DRAW ART OF MY LITTLE MEMES BUT IDK IS THAT WEIRD???

J.laur: hey guys ive been thinkiswrdyoa

Angel.from.the.schuy: me too

J.laur: FUCKING FUCK

J.laur: I JUST WALKED INTO A WALL

A.ham: sounds about right

A.burr: wait was that why I heard you scream?

J.laur: ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE

A.ham: were skyping 

A.burr: also you live in an apartment 

J.laur: F UCK YOU

Pegster: r00d

Angel.from.the.schuy: I think john needs a minute

A.ham: when doesn't he tho

ElizaBest: got us there

A.burr: I can hear him grumbling from here

A.ham: hahahaha heAaeqqwaasd

ElizaBest: what happened now?

A.burr: John went silent and tried to scare Alex

A.ham: YOU LITTLE FUCK

J.laur: HAHAHAHA

A.burr: he succeeded 

A.burr: p sure they're fighting now

Pegster: like literally? Should someone go over there?

ElizaBest: no this is normal for them

Angel.from.the.schuy: id be weird if they weren't constantly wrestling

Pegster: oh, then...

Pegster: gay

A.burr: nice

ElizaBest: burr I've been meaning to ask, have you guys seen Jefferson around work or anything 

A.burr: oh well, we've seen him but he doesn't really talk to us. He doesn't really talk that much at all unless it's with James.

Pegster: what about Alex?

A.burr: then he just goes red in the face and finds a way to rush out

ElizaBest: well...it must be embarrassing 

Angel.from.the.schuy: I never thought I'd feel bad about Jefferson 

A.burr: I don't

Pegster: why?

A.burr: because he tried to make me look bad by lying to Alex

A.burr: he also lied to me so yeah it embarrassing that he thought that was a good idea

Angel.from.the.schuy: hOLY SHIT I J UST CHOK ED ON Y SALIVA TH T WAS SAVEGE

ElizaBest: wow

Pegster: are we under a tree? Cause that's how much shade he just threw

Angel.from.schuy: DAAAAAMN

ElizaBest: how am I related to you guys

A.burr: well when a man and a woman love each other very much

ElizaBest: S TOP

Laf.baguette: well that is ironic lol

Hunkcules: nO

Pegster: where have you guys been

Laf.baguette: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pegster: nevermind

ElizaBest: wait but why is it ironic?

ElizaBest: OOOOOOOOOOOOh nevermind

A.burr: lmao

Hunkcules: THESE ARE PRIVATE MATTERS

Laf.baguette: oopsy daisy :3

Hunkcules: SHUT UP YOUR 3

Pegster: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Angel.from.the.schuy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ElizaBest: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A.burr: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J.laur: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A.ham: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hunkcules: IM SUEING

A.ham: WA I T

A.ham has added George.W to the conversation.

A.ham: SIR THIS IS IMPORTANT READ UP

Hunkcules: A L E X

J.laur: IM GONNA PEE MY PANTS

George.W: ( ° ͜> °) ?

A.ham: CLOSE ENOUGH 

Hunkcules: I H8

George.W: Was this all I was needed for?

A.ham: YES AND THANK YOU

George.W: How is Philip doing, Alexander?

A.ham: oh he's doing, Purr-fect ;)

George.W has left the conversation.

J.laur: LMAO TOU FUCKED IT UP ALEX

A.ham: SHIET

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM WHEEZING

ElizaBest: SAME

Pegster: I CANT BREATHE 

Hunkcules has left the conversation.

A.burr: I AM IN TEARS

A.ham: O MY GOD AARON

ElizaBest: THIS IS TOO MUCH

J.laur: ITS A MESS

Laf.baguette added Hunkcules to the conversation.

Laf.baguette: Hercules' face is so very red right now

Hunkcules: SO IS YOURS YOU LOOK LIKE A TOMATO

Laf.baguette: I look beautiful

Hunkcules has sent a photo: tomato-child.jpeg

ElizaBest: OMG AWW

J.laur: they said I could be anything so I became a vegetable 

Pegster: fruit*

J.laur: stop.

Angel.from.the.schuy: that's my line. (Stop)

A.ham: that shade of red is the perfect color 

A.ham: screenshotted >:)

Laf.baguette has left the conversation.

Hunkcules: I GAIN POWER

J.laur: IDK about that, I don't think you're gettin lucky ;)

Hunkcules has left the conversation.

Angel.from.the.schuy: sTOP WITH THE PUNS

ElizaBest: this is too much

Punster: yeah cut it out you guys

Angel.from.the.schuy has left the conversation.

A.ham: WHY IS WVERYONE LEAVING

Punster: THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO PEOPLE ALEXANDER 

A.ham: I DO NOT

Punster has left the conversation.

A.ham: FUCK YOU PEGGY

ElizaBest: t O O M U C H

A.burr: I JUST GOT IVER THE WASHIGTON THING

A.ham: AARON REALLY

A.burr: IT WAS RLY FUNNY

A.ham: THIS I S TOO MUCH

ElizaBest has left the conversation.

A.burr: and then there were two

A.ham: toxic family™

A.burr: lmao

A.ham: oh, btw burr

A.burr: yeah???

A.ham: don't ever talk about Thomas like that again

A.burr: oh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay Shitposting with a pinch of angst IM BACK BABY (Alex calls Aaron, Burr when he's mad at him)


	25. Halloween Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memes become memeier.  
> (With a touch of angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL THOUGHT IT WAS OVER

ElizaBest: GUYS

A.ham: WHAT

ElizaBest: THERES A KID HERE DRESSED IN A GORILLA SUIT AND WHEN I ASKED HIM WHO HE WAS HE SAID HARAMBE

A.ham: OH MY G O D

A.burr: DICKS OUT

Hunkcules: RIP

Pegster: GODDAMIT THATS WHAT I SHOULDVE BEEN

A.ham: IM DEAD

J.laur: SAME

J.laur: WAIT PEGGY WHAT ARE YOU BEING

Pegster: NANCY FROM STRANGER THINGS

J.laur: OH SWEET

Hunkcules: WHY ARE YOU STILL USING CAPITAL LETTERS

A.ham: BECAUSE WHY NOT

J.laur: YEAH MAN

A.burr: THE FITNESS GRAM PACER TEST IS A-

Pegster kicked A.burr from the conversation.

A.ham added A.burr to the conversation.

A.ham: ONLY I CAN KICK MY BOYFRIEND PEGGY

Pegster: MY B

A.burr: ALRIGHTY THEN

ElizaBest: WAIT ARE YOU GUYS DRESSING UP TOO?

A.ham: IM GONNA BE TROY BOLTON

ElizaBest: AW I COULDVE BEEN GABRIELLA

A.burr: um??????

ElizaBest: oops ;P

A.ham: SORRY AARON WE MAY BE DATING BUT ELIZA WILL ALWAYS BE MY WIFE

A.burr: fine as long as you're not making out without me

J.laur: w i t h o u t m e 

A.burr: did I stutter

ElizaBest: lol

Hunkcules: aMAZING

Hunkcules: also im being Hercules for Halloween ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pegster: please tell me you mean Greek mythology Hercules and not yourself

Hunkcules: Greek myth

A.ham: A C E

Pegster: okay good I thought you were gonna be that asshole that wears a t shirt that says "this is my costume"

ElizaBest: I HATE THAT TOO

A.ham: SAME BUT ELIZA WHAT ARE YOU THO

ElizaBest: the notebook from dont hug me I'm scared

ElizaBest: I even made my own little notebook

A.ham: SWEET ASS

J.laur: YO SEND PICS

ElizaBest: LATER

Laf.baguette: I am dressed as the chimney sweeper from Mary Poppins

Hunkcules: He's rlly cute

Laf.baguette: my hero ;)

A.ham: I bet you they're making out now

ElizaBest: prob

A.burr: good for them

A.ham: Aaron what are you being

A.burr: vampire

Pegster: BORING

A.burr: r00d

A.ham: dw I'll jazz it up for you

A.burr: only if we can makeout too

A.ham: like you have to ask???

ElizaBest: aww

J.laur: *gag reflex*

Pegster: *vomits casually*

Laf.baguette: c a s u a l l y

Hunkcules: John what are you being

J.laur: harambe i already said this

ElizaBest: WHAT NO YOU DIDNT

J.laur: YES I DID I SAID SAME

Hunkcules: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING

J.laur: WELL SURPRISE SURPRISE

J.laur sent a photo: dicksoutforharambe.jpg

Laf.baguette: WTF

Pegster: IMPRESSIVE

A.burr: Philip is ready™

A.burr sent a photo: turtle-cat.jpg

J.laur: I like the touch of Alex crying in the back

ElizaBest: ikr

Laf.baguette: Where is Angelica? What is she dressing to be?

Pegster: Idk why she's not answering but I know she's being Mimi from Rent for Halloween

Laf.baguette: nice

A.ham: ITS SPOOPY AS FUCK IN HERE

J.laur: FUCK YEAH

Pegster: SKELETON WAR

Laf.baguette: STUPID FUCKBOISSS

Hunkcules: p sure that's my favorite thing you ever said Gil

\------------------------------------------

A.ham: it's hard to kiss you with your Vampire fangs 

A.burr: good for sucking tho ;))))

A.ham: OMY GOD

A.burr: *finger guns*

A.ham: THAT HAS TO BE THE SMOOTHEST THING YOUVE EVER SAID TO ME

A.ham: RLY SUPER HAWT 10/10

A.burr: lmao come here

A.ham: not in front of Philip lol...

A.ham: Aaron

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: I NEED TO COME OVER PLEASE ITS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH

Hunkcules: WAIT WHYY

Laf.baguette: WHAT IS WRONG

J.laur: ALEX AND BURR ARE DOING T H I N G S AND I NEED HELLLLP

Laf.Baguette: mon dieu

Hunkcules: John we'd love to help but

J.laur: WHAT

Laf.baguette: we were planning on doing...

Hunkcules: things...

J.laur: F UCK

\------------------------------------------

Macaroni&shade: nothing is more intimidating than sounding like an over excited Mike Tyson 

Sick.in.both.ways: you wanted to be Dracula you can't be him without fangs

Macaroni&shade: only because I thought you were being The Frankenstein monster

Sick.in.both.ways: that's when Dolly was gonna be the bride of Frankenstein but then she changed her mind

Macaroni&shade: dammit

Sick.in.both.ways: come on it's not that bad you can't go wrong with a vampire

Macaroni&shade: I guesssssss

Sick.in.both.ways: stop whining I can tell you're obsessed with that cape

Macaroni&shade: true :3 Its so dramatic I love it

\-----------------------------------------

A.burr: I hate this cape it's so big I can't even find my arms

A.ham: I like it it's dramatic

A.burr: that's not really my thing 

A.ham: well Halloween is the day to be anyone but yourself

A.burr: I guess

A.ham: now come over here and get in this selfie with Philip 

A.burr: sprinting

\------------------------------------------

Pegster: when is Dolly's party again?

ElizaBest: It starts at six but she said it's cool if you're late

Pegster: when are you going

ElizaBest: probably gonna get there at six thirty six twenty

Pegster: could you give me a ride

ElizaBest: UGH fine

Pegster: thank you best older sister in the wooooooooorld

ElizaBest: gASP im tells Angie!!!!!

Pegster: nO

\------------------------------------------

Laf.baguette: aww Alexander looks so cute as Troy

J.laur: living for how Herc screamed Bolton at him

Hunkcules: did you see him jump

J.laur: yES

Hunkcules: lmfao

A.ham: THIS IS BULLYING

A.burr: this is comedy

A.ham: ROOD

A.burr: <3

Pegster: WE ARE ON OUR WAY

J.laur: WAITING FOR YOU <33333

Pegster: <3333

A.burr: my fangs keep falling out

Hunkcules: keep your mouth closed 

Hunkcules: or as closed as you can with giant teeth

J.laur: and only open up if you have to eat, suck dick, or hiss at people

A.ham: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Laf.baguette: im sure that if burr wanted to suck dick he would take out the fangs

J.laur: not if he was truly dedicated

A.burr: I'm gonna hiss at you John

J.laur: ouch

Hunkcules: lmao

\------------------------------------------

A.ham: ELIZA YOU LOOK SO GOOD

ElizaBest: SO DO YOU

A.ham: Bet on it ;)

ElizaBest: BYE

A.ham: COME BACK

ElizaBest: KIDDING <3

A.ham: <3

J.laur: bOYT UH NOY ELIZAA UO LOKK GRE7

ElizaBest: thanks john! Go easy on the beer tho

J.laur: dint woeery in fiiiine

Laf.baguette: don't worry Eliiza weer wachingg hin

Hunkcules: don't worry Eliza I'm watching them

ElizaBest: <3

\------------------------------------------

Macaroni&shade: boy oh boy there's a lot of people here

Sick.in.both.ways: if you're not okay at any time you tell me Thomas

Macaroni&shade: dw jemmy I'll be fine

Macaroni&shade: go have fun with Dolly I'll just get wasted

Sick.in.both.ways: oh my/no

Macaroni&shade: lmao

\------------------------------------------

A.ham: I LOST MY BOYFRIEND

A.ham: BOYFRIEND WHERE ARE YOU

A.burr: BOYFRIEND IS HERE

A.ham: BITCH WHERE IS HERE

A.burr: THE VAMPIRE IN THE CORNER

A.ham: THERE ARE VAMPIRES EVERYWHERE

A.burr: THE ONE WITH THE GIANT CAPE

A.ham: SHIT WAIT I THINK I SEE YOU

\------------------------------------------

A.ham: OH MY GOD AARON I AM SO SORRY

A.ham: I DIDNT THINK-

A.ham: I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU

A.ham: IM SO SORRY WHERE DID YOU GO

\------------------------------------------

Macaroni&shade: James

Macaroni&shade: why didn't you tell me that ALEXANDER HAMILTON WAS HERE WITH HIS BOYFRIEND

Sick.in.both.ways: i didn't know

Sick.in.both.ways: did something happen?

Macaroni&shade: he put his hands over my eyes and says surprise surprise and when I turn around he fUCKING KISSES ME

Sick.in.both.ways: oh my god

Macaroni&shade: AND THEN HE GASPS LIKE HE JUST SAW A MURDER

Macaroni&shade: AND THEN I SEE BURR IN THE SAME EXACT COSTUME AS MEE???

Macaroni&shade: i can't breathe

Sick.in.both.ways: Thomas calm down I'm coming

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: MYSTERY GIRL IS HERE

ElizaBest: SHES DRESSED AS THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

ElizaBest: WTF SHES PERFECT????

ElizaBest: IM GONNA TALK TO HER

ElizaBest: OH MY GOD

ElizaBest: BURR YOU DIDNT TELL ME THEODOSIA WAS HOT

A.burr: im prety surr I fukcin diid 

ElizaBest: are you drunk?

A.burr: whjo carrs 

ElizaBest: ....

\------------------------------------------

A.ham: Thomas

A.ham: Thomas please stop avoiding me

A.ham: I'm sorry for what I did

A.ham: I thought you were Aaron

A.ham: please don't ignore me

A.ham: I miss you

\------------------------------------------

J.laur: DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE WAS A SUCCESS

Hunkcules: AYYYY everyone thought I was a spartan lol

Pegster: that's stupid, you're literally your own name

Hunkcules: ikr that's what I said

Laf.baguette: although nobody knew who I was my costume was very successful

Hunkcules: ugh it's because you're adorable 

Laf.baguette: teehee ;P

Pegster: his power is too strong

J.laur: god help us all

Laf.baguette: *wink*

Pegster: *anime gasp* maximum has be surpassed!?!?!?

J.laur: its hopeless

Hunkcules: y'all are too much

Pegster: what else is new

Laf.baguette: thank you btw

J.laur: we only speak the truth

Laf.baguette: :))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WANNA DRAW THESE GUYS BUT IDK IF I GOT TIME


	26. Drunk John™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might not really be a chapter but I whole bunch of "art" made by me and a couple others. We'll see tho
> 
> I AM ON FIRE WITH THESE UPDATES

Macaroni&shade: look Alex I'm sorry

A.ham: why are you apologizing?

Macaroni&shade: none of this would've happened if it weren't for me

A.ham: yeah I'd still be crying over Aaron's imaginary girlfriend

Macaroni&shade: what

A.ham: I thought he and Theodosia were dating heheh

Macaroni&shade: they weren't?

A.ham: I mean at one point they were but not you know...recently

Macaroni&shade: oh

....

Macaroni&shade: what I still did is wrong and I'm sorry for everything

A.ham: and I forgive you

Macaroni&shade: It was easier when we hated each other

A.ham: yeah but I love being your friend more

Macaroni&shade: I 

A.ham: I get it now...you like me more than that. And im sorry I don't return your feelings but that doesn't mean we can't look past that and be friends right?

Macaroni&shade: I don't know if I can

A.ham: Thomas

Macaroni&shade: im sorry Alex

A.ham: STOP APOLOGIZING IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THAT

Macaroni&shade: why?

A.ham: because I kissed you by accident and that sounds weird but it really was an accident and even before that I made you feel like this about me and I don't return your feelings and I know it must suck and I can't do anything to help you and it's shitty

Macaroni&shade: pfft damn Hamilton, is it impossible for you to answer something under 2 paragraphs

A.ham: what?

Macaroni&shade: I don't know why you're apologizing because it's not even your fault lol

Macaroni&shade: im just surprised I have to tell you to hate me because surely after what I did you'd already

A.ham: I never hated you

Macaroni&shade: .....

A.ham: all the time

A.ham: like even when we were at each other's throats I never h a t e d you

Macaroni&shade: really???

A.ham: more like I just hated your ideas and opinions with a burning passion

Macaroni&shade: well then the feelings mutual

A.ham: asshole

Macaroni&shade: lmao

A.ham: I'm W heezing 

Macaroni&shade: lol so hows it with burr?

A.ham: good

Macaroni&shade: the fact that you answered with only one word scares me

A.ham: haha but no after the Incident™ he doesn't talk as much

Macaroni&shade: oh god I'm sorry

A.ham: don't be, it's my fault, he knows it was a mistake and that I didn't mean to and he talks to me and stuff but I can still tell he's upset

Macaroni&shade: i don't know what to say

A.ham: the fact that you're here talking to me is enough 

A.ham: :)

Macaroni&shade: :)

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: and then the kid proceeded to tell everyone about the "ghost" living in his parents' bedroom

Teddy: omg I can't breathe

ElizaBest: none the less that was a weird day lol

Teddy: I wish I had cool "work" stories

ElizaBest: why what do you do?

Teddy: well currently I'm working at a pet shop but I'm working to be an artist

ElizaBest: that's so cool!

Teddy: my art isn't Picasso though

ElizaBest: I bet it's amazing, I'd love to see it sometime

Teddy: sounds great but I'll only show you if we get coffee too :3

ElizaBest: as long as I get to buy you a coffee to make up for the one I made you spill

Teddy: I told you, your apology was enough!

ElizaBest: well your lucky you got by with it once but honey it ain't working no more

Teddy: lol fine but I'm adding another condition

ElizaBest: tell me

Teddy: you have to let me paint you

.....

ElizaBest: like one of your French girls???

Teddy: lmao sure but I don't have a lot of those

ElizaBest: haha okay deal

Teddy: how about this Friday?

ElizaBest: can't wait :)

Teddy: :)

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: IM IN SUCH LOVE ITS FNATASTIC

A.ham: thriving 4 you Liza

J.laur: gud fuer u gurk 

A.ham: drunk John™ has been singing too good by drake for the past twenty minutes and I don't think it'll ever get old

ElizaBest: why is john drunk???

A.ham: he got bored

Hunkcules: good enough for me

Angel.from.the.schuy: IM BACK HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN WHO MISSED ME

Pegster: no one

Angel.from.the.schuy: well what if I told you I'm COMING TO NEW YORK IN 2 WEEKS

ElizaBest: ANGELICAAAA <3

pegster: AYYYYYYYY <33333

A.ham: ANGIE I CANT WAIT

Angel.from.the.schuy: ME TOO

J.laur: aNGINE I SO EXITED

Angel.from.the.schuy: THANKS DRUNK JOHN™

Laf.baguette: HERCULES GET IN THE CAR WE HAVE TO GO WELCOME BACK TO AMERICA SHOPPING

Hunkcules: IM ALREADY OUTSIDE WHERE ARE YOU

Pegster: this is wild

A.ham: YOURE TELLING ME

A.ham: PHILIP IS PLAYING WITH HIS NEW TOY AND I DONT THINK MY HEART CAN HANDLE

A.ham sent a video.

Angel.from.the.schuy: AWW I CANT WAIT TO FINALLY MEET MY NEPHEW

A.ham: AND HE CANT WAIT TO MEET HIS AUNT ANGIE

A.ham sent a photo: smolcat.jpg

Angel.from.the.schuy: AHHHHH

J.laur: djao$/&,@8-'che

ElizaBest: umm?

A.ham: sorry, drunk John™ just fell asleep with his face on his phone

Hunkcules: niiiiiice

Pegster: lol

\------------------------------------------

A.ham: you wanna come over?

A.burr: can't tonight sorry

A.ham: why not?

A.burr: because I have work to do

A.ham: no you don't you said this afternoon you didn't have a lot

A.burr: well I was wrong

A.ham: you can't be mad about this forever 

A.burr: be mad about what

A.ham: you know what

A.burr: I told you I'm not mad

A.ham: sure you aren't

A.ham left the conversation.

A.burr: alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I like to write a happy chapter and then throw in the pain last minute


	27. A whole bunch o nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk anymore

J.laur: BOY ISNT IT CHRISTMASY IN HERE

Angel.from.the.schuy: you know we aren't with you!!!!

Angel.from.the.schuy: and its nOVEMBER

A.ham: C H R I S T M A S

Pegster sent a photo: carol-of-the-bells.png

Angel.from.the.schuy: STOOOOOP

Hunkcules: DING DONG DING DONG

ElizaBest: IIIIIIIM DREAMING OF A WHIIIIITE CHRISTMAS

A.burr: JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAY

A.ham: JINGLE BELLS ANGIE SMELLS*

Angel.from.the.schuy: ALEX I WILL SUPLEX YOU INTO A VOLCANO

A.ham: Ange you say the sweetest things

Laf.baguette: FELIZ NAVIDAD

Hunkcules: bABE THAT SPANISH

Laf.baguette: I KNOW THAT

Laf.baguette: BUT ITS THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER DONT DENY

ElizaBest: that's fair

A.burr: oh wait guys one sec

A.burr added Teddy to the conversation.

Teddy: I wanna be where the people are

A.ham: lmao nice but we're doing Christmas songs

ElizaBest: THEO!!!!!!!!

Teddy: LIZZZYYYYYYY!!!!

A.ham: I thought you hated being called Lizzy?

ElizaBest: I DO

Teddy: :(

ElizaBest: BUT ITS THEO SO

Teddy: :)

A.burr: aww that's gay

Teddy: thanks boo

Pegster: lol

J.laur: speaking of lgbtq+, I've been thinking 

A.ham: WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

Hunkcules: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Laf.baguette: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Pegster: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

J.laur: ....bitch?....

A.ham: IM SORRY SPONGEBOB CAME ON AND I NEEDED TO SHARE MY EXCITEMENT 

J.laur: SPONGEBOB IS ON EVERY DAY AND YOU DONT SCREAM ABOUT IT

A.ham: YES I DO DONT YOU KNOW ME JOHN

Teddy: is it always like this?

J.laur: YEAH BUT AT LEAST THEN YOU DONT TYPE IN ALL CAPS IN THE GROUP CHAT INTERRUPTING ME

A.ham: THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY AT HAND

J.laur: WHAT EMERGENCY

A.ham: LOVE

ElizaBest: Yes. Yes it is.

J.laur: THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE ALEX

A.ham: OPEN YOUR DOOR IM COMING IN

J.laur: WHY

A.ham: TO HUG YOU

J.laur: NO

Hunkcules: I bet you they're wrestling now

Teddy: well at least it'll end up in a hug?

Angel.from.the.schuy: lmao I like this girl

Teddy: :)

Laf.baguette: btw when do you think you will be here Angelica?

Angel.from.the.schuy: before thanksgiving, probably in like a week

ElizaBest: Can't wait!!!!!

Angel.from.the.schuy: !!!!!

Pegster: eh it'll be cool I guess

Angel.from.the.schuy: :(

Pegster: just kidding I miss you Angie!!!

Laf.baguette: ME TOO

Hunkcules: ME THREE

A.burr: let's not do this

ElizaBest: ME FOUR

Teddy: ME FOUR AND A HALF BECAUSE I DONT KNOW YOU VERY WELL

Angel.from.the.schuy: <3333333

A.ham: IM BACK

Pegster: where's john?

A.ham: he has been hugged :3

ElizaBest: hugified

Hunkcules: fatality

Teddy: this chat is an adventure

Angel.from.the.schuy: that's one way to describe it

\------------------------------------------

ElizaBest: hey Theo

Teddy: hey!!!

ElizaBest: would you wanna see a movie later?

Teddy: yeah I'd love to!

ElizaBest: but I mean in like a....

ElizaBest: romanticey way???

ElizaBest: WAIT I DONT EVEN KNOW IF YOU BI OR PAN OR WHATEVER UGH IM SO SORRY

Teddy: it's fine lizzy it's just

ElizaBest: just what?

Teddy: I thought we were already doing things...

Teddy: in a "romanticey way"

ElizaBest: oh

....

ElizaBest: SO A MOVIE LATER AT WHAT HOW ABOUT LIKE FOUR???

Teddy: YEAH I GUESS ILL SEE YOU THEN

ElizaBest: GREAT BYE

Teddy: BYE

\------------------------------------------

Teddy: Aaron I think im in love 

A.burr: nice

Teddy: nice??? That's it?

A.burr: what?

Teddy: okay, grumpy, what's wrong?

A.burr: nothing is wrong

Teddy: yeah and I'm not gay as heck for Eliza

A.burr: as heck?

Teddy: YOU KNOW I DONT LIKE SWEARING

Teddy: just tell what's bothering you

A.burr: nothing

Teddy: goddamnit burr tell what's got your panties in a twist already

....

A.burr: its my fault

A.burr: I think it's my fault

Teddy: Aaron...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia is a little Angel
> 
> (Friendly reminder that Aaron is still snubbing Alex.)


	28. International House of DICC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jk it's pancakes  
> WELCOME BACK LETS SHITPOST!!!

A.ham: sOMEONE COME TO IHOP WITH ME

Angel.from.the.schuy: why hello to you too

A.ham: ANGIE COME TO IHOP WITH ME

Angel.from.the.schuy: why not go with your boyfriend alex

A.ham: hE REFUSES TO GO WITH ME

A.burr: i told you im busy

A.ham sent a photo: noyouaint.gif

\---------------------------------------

Pegster: ok i kinda feel bad, not only for laughing at my own joke, but because my joke was answering "go with your boyfriend" with Jefferson...

Pegster: i laughed real hard but then i realized what i had done...

Angel.from.the.schuy: P E G G Y

ElizaBest: PEGGY N O

Pegster: IM SORRY BE GLAD I DIDNT DO IT

\---------------------------------------

Angel.from.the.schuy: ok Alex I'll go with you

A.ham: YaY ANGE YOU GODDESS

Angel.from.the.schuy changed their username to Goddess.

Goddess: that me >:)

Pegster: im not even mad

Pegster: WAIT CAN I COME NOW I WANT I HOP

A.ham: YES YOU LITTLE ANGEL YOU

Pegster: YAY

Goddess: come on Eliza! Finish the trio!

ElizaBest: sorry i can't...i have a date :3

Hunkcules: oooOoooOOOOOoooOOOo

A.ham: I WAS GONNA DO THE SAME THING

franklin.lover: lmao

Franklin.lover: ALEX DAMMIT DID YOU TAKE MY PHONE AND DO THIS

A.ham: i dont know what youre talking about john all i see is you coming to terms with your worship

Franklin.lover: ALE XX

A.ham: IM RUNNING TO MY CAR 

A.ham: ILL PICK YOU GUYS UP

Pegster: thanks alex lol

Goddess: lmao good luck

Laf.baguette: i just checked my phone and sure enough John is being tormented by Alex

Laf.baguette: i could feel John's seething from miles away

Hunkcules: you were summoned 

ElizaBest: lol

ElizaBest: i gotta go get ready for my date so ttyl guys

Hunkcules: oooOOOOOOOOO00000

Laf.baguette: good luuuuuuuuck ;3

Hunkcules: hey laf wanna go to IHOP?

Laf.baguette: aw mon cher i thought you would never ask :)

J.laur: take me with you guys i wanna torment alex

Laf.baguette: aw im going to miss franklin lover...

J.laur: too bad now come on i want pancakes and revenge.

Hunkcules: i guess i cant argue with that

Laf.baguette: lets go on the adventure

\---------------------------------------

A.burr: bring me back something? :)

A.ham: if you wanted some why didnt you come?

A.burr: i told you im busy

....

A.burr: im sorry

A.ham: its fine ill bring you back some chicken and waffles bUT NOTHING MORE FOR YOU YOU RASCAL

A.burr: lol thanks <3

A.ham: <3333333333333333333333

A.burr: jEsus with the hearts ALEx

A.ham: lmao text you later <3

A.burr: bye

\---------------------------------------

A.ham: WHY ARE YOU GUYS HERE

Hunkcules: what do you mean were just enjoying some pancakes alex

A.ham: JO HN STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

J.laur: like what, Alexander?

A.ham: like youre gonna murder me

J.laur: >:)))))))))))))))

A.ham: I WIL L CALL THE POLICE

Laf.baguette: alex i want you to know that john is doing a tiny evil laugh behind his menu

A.ham: S TOP

Goddess: GODDAMIT ALEX JUST GET READY TO ORDER

A.ham: AHHHHHHH

\---------------------------------------

JTeff: hey jemmy you free?

Sick.in.both.ways: yeah why

JTeff: i have a sudden craving for pancakes

Sick.in.both.ways: sweet

\---------------------------------------

A.ham: JOHN IM SORRY PLEASE DONT MURDER ME

J.laur: IM NOT GONNA MURDER YOU JUST OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR

A.ham: I DONT TRUST YOU

J.laur: ALEX IM SERIOUS

A.ham: ARE YOU THOUGH

J.laur: yes....i have something really important on my mind and i have to tell someone before i explode...

....

A.ham: the door is open buddy :)

J.laur: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to add feedback and/or mini side story ideas :)


	29. John Laurens, We Love You!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dont worry he not ded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im trying to spread out the angst throughout chapters but its hard cuz my brain has two functions, make them cry or be a stupid shit lol

J.laur: ok guys? I got some groundbreaking news here...

Hunkcules: almost as groundbreaking as this DICCK

Goddess: get out

ElizaBest: please no

Pegster: stop

Laf.baguette: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A.burr: STOP

A.ham: ok ok everyone settle down

A.burr: thats rich coming from you

A.ham: SHHHSHHHSHHHHSHHHHHH

....

A.ham: go ahead John :)

J.laur: thanks :)

J.laur: ok so ive been like confused with my sexuality since i can remember??? Sometimes I'd think I'd like girls and then other times I was sure i liked guys but i was never positive and its been on my mind a lot more recently. More confusion and more panic about who i am as a person, i felt a lot more lonely because the last person i had a relationship with was Martha Manning in the 7th grade for 2 months. But then i thought about you guys and how you've always been there for me and i realized i don't need a prince/princess charming to feel happy about myself. Then i got the "epiphany"...so guys...I'm

J.laur changed his username to Asexual.

Asexual:....

....

A.ham: JOH N IM SO PRPUD OF YOU YOU SOFT TURTLE YOUUU

Hunkcules: BOI YOU BOUT TO MAKEE ME CRY I LOVE TOU MAN SM NO MATTER WHO YOU LIKE AHHH

Laf.baguette: MON CHER THESE LABELS DO NOT MEAN A THING TO ME YOU WILL ALWAYS MY FRIEND REGARDLESS OF ORIENTATION 

Goddess: JOBN YOU BIG SOFTIE I LOVE YOU WE ARE SO ROUD OF YOU FINALLY DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE

ElizaBest: WE LOVE YOU JOHN SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! NEVER FORGET THAT! WELOCEYOUJOHNWELOVEYOUJOHN  
WE L O V E YOU JOHN!!!!!! <333333

Pegster: AHHHH EEEEE OOOOOH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY YOURE SUCH A GOOD GUY JOHN IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

A.burr: congrats 

A.ham: C ONGRATS

ElizaBest: CONGRATS

Pegster: CONGRATS

Hunkcules: CONGRATS

Laf.baguette: CONGRATS

Asexual: FCUK IM CRYING ILY GUYS SO MUCH

................................................................

J.Teff: why do i sense crying people in the world

Sick.in.both.ways: idk maybe its you social life

J.Teff: BOII I JUST FELL OUT MY CHAIR

Sick.in.both.ways: haha :)

J.Teff: fine now im not bringing over LaLaLand on bluray for you

Sick.in.both.ways: no thomas please im dying

J.Teff: i know you are jemmy i know you are

Sick.in.both.ways: so does that mean youre coming?

J.Teff: HEL L YEAH AND IM BRINGING KITKATS

Sick.in.both.ways: *insert longest yeah boi ever*

\---------------------------------------

Laf.baguette: you know what this calls for???

Goddess: a party?

Laf.baguette: A MOTHERFUCKING PARTY

A.ham: HELLLLLLL YES

Hunkcules: MY BODY IS READY

Pegster: IM DOWN

Asexual: LAF YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE 

A.burr: does anyone here know the meaning of the word calm?

ElizaBest: ive learned to just go with it

ElizaBest: YEAH LETS PARTY

A.burr: alright then

Laf.baguette: CEEEEEELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON

Hunkcules: LETS CELEBRATE

Asexual: *insert longest yeah boi ever*

A.ham: YEEEEEEEAHHH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI

A.burr: can i invite theo?

A.ham: YEAH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOI

A.burr: S T OP

ElizaBest: WAIT NO....can i do it?

A.burr: pfft yeah sure she'd love that

ElizaBest: OK ALEX ONE MORE TIME

A.burr: NO please

A.ham: Y EA H BOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI

A.burr: why @ god?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why i keep making Jefferson accidentally psychic??? I just dont want people to forget hes here and queer
> 
> Also i am not asexual so maybe that paragraph didnt come out too good but i tried...john is a cinnamon roll who will most likely stay single throughout the story
> 
> Sorry :)


	30. Not a new chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

Im sorry guys i know i just came back im not going on hold again but the chapters wil be scarce. I am apart of a web comic in which i am the main artist and if that isnt enough, my dog died today. It was expected, we had to put her down.sorry to be the downer of the day but i wanted to give you guys a warning....

 

Thanks for reading (i will be back),  
Mary <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Elf I'll miss you, old dog


End file.
